In Her Potions Master's Arms
by DeadToBeginWith
Summary: JJ Carter is alone for the summer. A certain professor is sent to be her protector, and the pair find themselves in an unsuspected position.
1. Chapter 1

**Sorry guys, still nothing new in this fic, just adding in scene dividers, nothing else has changes barr a few glaring grammar errors**

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><p>In her Potions Master's arms<p>

JJ Carter woke to the sound of someone knocking on her front door. Rolling out of bed and grabbing her wand, she wondered who the hell would be looking for her. It was the start of the second week of the summer holidays, and she had been sleeping in. Grumbling to herself she opened the door, and was shocked to find Potions Master Severus Snape on her doorstep.

"Professor! Um... come in, I guess," she stuttered.

"For you, Miss Carter," said the professor, handing the surprised student an envelope, and stepping inside.

Opening the envelope, JJ was surprised to find it was from Professor Dumbledore. "I've to go to Hogwarts," she stated. "With you sir. What the Hell would the Headmaster want with me?"

"I havent the faintest idea, Miss Carter, now I suggest you get dressed so we can go." Professor Snape sounded impatient. Looking down, JJ realised that she was wearing pyjama bottoms and a tattered old hoodie. She didn't recall going to sleep in them. Then again, she didn't recall going to sleep at all. "Right. Clothes. One sec." She raced back upstairs to her bedroom, leaving a faintly irritated Snape behind her.

JJ pulled on a pair of old black jeans and an Elmo t-shirt, and ran a comb through her hair. She checked her reflection in the mirror on her way out the door. She was short, only 5 foot 2 inches, her hair was cut short, and was a light brown colour. Her eyes were hazel, hidden behind the square black frames of her glasses.

Snape raised an eyebrow at her t-shirt when she joined him again downstairs five minutes later, but said nothing. He took what appeared to be an old hairbrush from his pocket, and held it out to his student. JJ put a hand on it, and immediatly felt the characteristic jerk of portkey travel. Seconds later, the pair arrived at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Snape swept up the long driveway, his black cloak billowing around him. JJ followed him towards the castle that had been her school for the past 6 years.

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><p>The halls of Hogwarts were mostly silent, the only sound coming from the soft murmer of the portraits that lined the walls, and the squeaking of JJ's purple high tops. Walking beside Snape, she got the chance to look at him properly. He was tall, 6 foot 1 inch, and quite thin. His hair was black, and most said it was greasy, but JJ reckoned that was from standing over cauldrons all day. He was quite pale, with a rather large nose, cold black eyes and thin lips. JJ looked down at his hands. Her mum used to say that you can tell alot from someone's hands. Snape's were pale, like the rest of his skin, with long, thin fingers. They were covered in small burns from years of being a Potions Master. He was young, she knew. About 30. It was amazing the respect that he had from his students. JJ supposed that respect came from fear. He could be very intimidating when he wanted to be. Gryffindors like her were usually at the receiving end of his insults and mean comments. JJ didn't mind him though. She was good at Potions, and he usually left her alone.<p>

Under the many layers of the black robes that cloaked the professor's lean frame, JJ knew a Dark Mark was concealed. The brand of the Dark Lord himself rested on this man's forearm, and yet, she thought, he was not a Death Eater. A Death Eater was someone who killed and destroyed for fun. Someone who believed themself to have a right above other humans because of their ancestry. JJ knew that Snape did not. Her mother had told her the story of him turning to Dumbledore when he realised the monster he had pledged his loyalty to. Without him, many more people would have died in the First Wizarding War.

Snapping out of her reverie, JJ realised that they had reached the Headmaster's office. Snape gave the password, and they stepped onto the moving staircase. JJ felt a sudden rush of nerves, as any student did when called to Professor Dumbledore. Snape opened the door at the top of the staircase, and entered the office as she followed. Dumbledore sat behind his desk, reading some papers. He looked up when they entered. "Ah Miss Carter," the old man smiled at JJ. "Have a seat."

"Good morning Headmaster," JJ greeted as she sat in the wooden chair across his desk.

"We have a very important matter to discuss, Miss Carter," the headmaster informed her. "Concerning the events of last summer." JJ nodded, trying to stop the wave of emotion that threatened to engulf her whenever she thought about what had happened. She listened as Dumbledore continued:

"I believe it would be unwise to allow you to live alone for the summer, so I am going to assign you a protector."

"My apologies, Headmaster, but I fail to understand why I am here," Snape interjected.

"Well, Severus, you are to be her protecter."

The look on Snape's face mirrored her own, JJ was sure. "What? Why me?" Snape demanded angrily. "Why not someone else?"

"Well Severus, as you are a fully trained Order member and your job as a professor means you are not currently working, I believe you are the best choice." Dumbledore's tone was calm, but there was an air of authority in his words. "You will stay with Miss Carter for the summer."

"Hang on, don't I get a say in this?" JJ asked. "I'm of age, and perfectly capable of looking after myself. I don't need to be protected."

"Miss Carter, I apologise, but your mother asked me to ensure your safety should anything happen to her, and I believe having Severus stay with you is for the best. That is final." The Headmaster's mind was made up.

"So I must spend my summer babysitting a Gryffindor. Lovely," Snape's sarcasm made JJ think that he would certainly not be fun to live with for the summer.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Only realised now that I had no author's note on my first chapter! I can be so forgetful sometimes. Anyway, this is my first fic, and for it I created the character of JJ. She's loosely based on me, Irish, Gryffindor and as clumsy as a drunken clown. And I assure you this has nothing to do with my little crush on a certain Potions Master.

Oh and another thing, If the grammer is off when JJ is speaking, It is usually intentional. She talks like any Irish person would.

Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize, especially not Bon Jovi.

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That night, JJ sat back and thought about the day. Severus Snape was now living with her, and strangely, she couldn't bring herself to mind too much. He had been surprisingly civil to her when she had showed him around the house.

"Where exactly are we, Miss Carter?" he had asked earlier, while they had been eating some pasta JJ had cooked.

"Ireland. Clare, over on the west coast. Nice and isolated, it was perfect when I was a kid. The nearest town is Corofin, but thats a good 10 miles from here," she informed him. "I would have thought you'd have known that though sir," she was surprised that Professor Dumbledore hadn't told him.

"I had known you lived somewhere in the west of Ireland, but I was never clear on the specific location. I also believe your mother had a house in London. I'm surprised you're not staying there actually, with it being close to Diagon Alley and the Ministry."

"Nah I wanted to come back here. Havent been here much, Mum didn't like it here after Dad died. Reminded her too much of him, so I spent my summers in London. But now I had the choice, I came here. Ireland's home for me."  
>"Your father was a very brave man, he was a credit to the Order. His death was a loss felt by many." Snape's words sounded sincere. JJ smiled at him. "He was killed by the Dark Lord himself. Funny enough, he'd have been well proud of that. I didn't understand it all then though. Too young, 8 I was. It was just like, Daddy went out and never came back." JJ felt herself getting emotional, and quickly changed the subject.<p>

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><p>After they had finished, JJ suddenly jumped out of her seat. "There's something I have to show you Professor! Come on!" she ran out of the room, a slightly confused Snape following behind. She ran to a door across the hall and opened it with a key that was hanging on a hook on the wall, revealing a staircase behind it. At the bottom of the stairs was another door, this one already unlocked. It opened to reveal a large Potions lab. The walls looked to be concrete, and were painted a deep blue colour. The ceiling was high and charmed to look like the night sky. For some reason that JJ wasn't aware of, it never changed to daytime. It never seemed to be too dark either, One side wall had shelves that ran the lenght of the room, and these shelves were filled with all kinds of potions ingrediants in labelled jars and boxes. At the far end of the room was a number of hooks holding stirring rods in all shapes and sizes. Underneath was another shelf with a range of cauldrons made from a number of different metals.<p>

"This was Dad's lab," JJ told her shocked professor. "He used to spend hours down here, making all kinds of potions. He was brilliant at it. Anyways, thought you might like to know it's here, you being a Potions Master and all."

"It is amazing," Snape murmered, looking around the room with those intense black eyes of his. He looked at JJ, and she saw a hint of a smile cross his features. "Thank you for showing me."

His tone was soft, which surprised JJ. She smiled at him. "I'll leave you to it then. I'll be in the attic if you need me." He nodded, and she left.

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><p>That night, there was a knock on JJ's door. She looked up from her guitar. "Come in," she called. Snape opened the door. "What's the craic Professor?" she asked, looking back to the string she was tuning. He gave her a confused look. Noting the fact he hadn't answered, she looked back at him. "I mean what's up? You all right?"<p>

"Fine Miss Carter, I just heard music and came to see what you were doing," the professor replied, sitting down in the chair across from his student. "I didn't know you played the guitar."  
>"Yeah, I've been playing it for years," she told him. "Will I play something for you?"<p>

"If you wish," he replied, tilting his head to one side. JJ wondered what the hell she would play. A lovesong would be slightly awkward, and she didn't want to play anything to cheesy. Suddenly, the perfect song came into her head. Picking up the guitar, she stared to play:

"This ain't a song for the brokenhearted

No silent prayer for the faith departed

And I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd

You're gonna hear my voice when I shout it out loud

It's my life

It's now or never

I ain't gonna live forever

I just wanna live while I'm alive

(It's my life)

My heart is like an open highway

Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"

I just wanna live while I'm alive

'Cause it's my life

This is for the ones who stood their ground

For Tommy and Gina who never backed down

Tomorrow's getting harder, make no mistake

Luck ain't even lucky, gotta make your own breaks

It's my life

And it's now or never

I ain't gonna live forever

I just wanna live while I'm alive

(It's my life)

My heart is like an open highway

Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"

I just wanna live while I'm alive

'Cause it's my life

You better stand tall

When they're calling you out

Don't bend, don't break

Baby, don't back down

It's my life

It's now or never

'Cause I ain't gonna live forever

I just wanna live while I'm alive

(It's my life)

My heart is like an open highway

Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"

I just wanna live while I'm alive

(It's my life)

And it's now or never

I ain't gonna live forever

I just wanna live while I'm alive

(It's my life)

My heart is like an open highway

Like Frankie said, "I did it my way"

I just wanna live while I'm alive

'Cause it's my life!"

"That appeared to mean alot to you, Miss Carter," Snape commented.  
>"Yeah, it does," JJ agreed. "I'm sick of being told what I can't do you know? 'I ain't gonna live forever' " she quoted. He nodded. Then, with a glance to his watch, he got up. "It's getting late, I'll leave you to get some sleep." And with that he was gone.<p>

JJ sat staring at the door he had just walked out of. He had seemed genuinely interested in hearing her play. He aslo seemed to understand how she felt about that song. She sat thinking about her Potions Master well into the night.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hello all, Glad to se you're still reading. Not a whole lot in this chapter, but it is crucial to get this story to where I want it to go next, so here is chapter 3!

(Oh and I 3 reviews)

Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize

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A few weeks had passed since the night JJ had played for the Potions Master, and there hadn't been much interaction between them since. She quickly learned that outside of the classroom Snape was a quiet person who tended to keep to himself. He also didn't seem to be as much of a git to her. In fact, she was fairly sure he had smiled at her once when she had brought him some coffee in the lab. He spent most of his time down there, brewing potions for the sake of brewing. Never was he as peaceful as when he was brewing. JJ found that Snape was actually a decent person, and she didn't mind being around him. The only problem she had was the fact that she couldn't stop herself from thinking about him. He just fascinated her. The way his hands worked when he was cutting up ingrediants and stirring cauldrons, the little crease in his brow when he was concentrating, his intense eyes that reminded her of the Black Lake: dark and deep. And then there was his voice. JJ knew for a fact that while most students feared or disliked the Potions Master, many girls had dreams about that voice at some point. It was a smooth baritone, that, to her, felt like velvet running over her skin when he spoke, sending shivers down her spine.

Other than this strange new awareness of her professor, JJ thought that they had been getting along quite well. However, it was inevitable that something would go wrong sooner or later. That something happened the first week in August, about a month after Snape had moved in.

The day started like any other, JJ dragging herself out of bed after only an hour or two of sleep. She hadn't slept properly in over a year, ever since the thing with her mum. She decided that the best thing to do would be to take some Dreamless Sleep Potion, so after breakfast, she joined Snape in the lab, where he was already brewing something else. He raised an eyebrow at her as she entered, but said nothing. After gathering the ingrediants she needed, JJ lit a fire under her pewter cauldron and set to work.

After about 20 minutes, Snape came and stood beside her. "Miss Carter, why is it that you feel the need to brew Dreamless Sleep Potion?" He questioned.

"Insomnia, sir," she replied, not looking at him. He sighed, but said nothing else, moving to lean against the worktop behind her.

"Professor, can I ask you something?" JJ questioned after a while.

"Go ahead." came the reply.

"Have you ever thought about taking on an apprentice?" She asked nervously.

Snape looked at her strangely. "I have had many applications in the 10 years I've been a Master, but never have I taken one on. Why?"

"It was something I had considered asking you. Always knew I wanted to work with Potions since I was little, and I figured you'd be a good one to learn from."

"It depends on the individual, but in your case I would consider it. You would have to complete an assessment beforehand." JJ was shocked at his words. She really hadn't expected him to even consider it. "Thank you Professor. It means a lot." He only nodded at that, and both went back to work.

A short while later, there was an odd knock at the door. JJ saw Snape freeze and take out his wand. Crossing to the door, she opened it, and sure enough, there was a small owl sitting on the bottom step of the stairs, holding a letter bearing the Hogwarts Crest. "Tybalt! Where the hell have you been?" She yelled at the owl. Tybalt hooted and flew past her into the lab, dropping the letter on the work table.

"Out!" JJ commanded. "You know full well you ain't allowed in here, so go." Tybalt flew off with what could only be described as an owl's version on annoyance on his face.

"I swear that owl is going to do some serious damge to himself someday," she shook her head.

"He is rather... interesting," Snape commented.

Sitting down, JJ opened the letter. Two pieces of parchment fell out, one being the standard booklist. Picking up the other, she froze. "No way," she murmered under her breath. Snape raised an inquisitive eybrow at her. "I'm Head Girl!" JJ told him happily.

"Congratulations Miss Carter," He told her sincerly.

Grinning like an eejit, JJ didn't notice the odd spluttering sounds the potion behind her was starting to make until it was too late. The last thing she saw was Snape opening his mouth to say something before there was a loud bang and everthing went black.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hi all, just want to thank everyone who reviewed. Special shout-out to my English teacher, whose review made me walk around with a stupid smile for a while. And also my best friend, who is the inspiration for another OC that you all haven't met yet.

This chapter is one of my key chapters that I had every detail of planned before I wrote it, and could not be excluded without the story changing completely. Here is a prime example of JJ's complete lack of Brain-to-Mouth filter, which can cause her some problems. So here is- drumroll please- chapter 4!

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When JJ woke up, she was in her bed. Shifting slightly to stare up at the wood panelled ceiling, she noted that every muscle in her body seemed to ache. "Ow!" she muttered.

"I would say you will hurt for a while," came Snape's voice from the doorway, making JJ jump.

"Jaysus Professor, you nearly gave me a heart attack!" she told him.

"My apologies. May I come in?"

"Sure."

He came in and sat on the edge of her bed. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Like I've been hit by a herd of Hippogriffs," she informed him, sitting up carefully. "What happened?"

"Your potion boiled over, causing it to explode. Because it was Dreamless Sleep, it knocked you out, but it appears to have caused all your muscles to fall asleep too, so to speak" Snape told her. "That would be what is causing you pain, however painkillers would only have a negative reaction with the Dreamless Sleep, so I'm afrain you cannot take any. You were out for 18 hours."

Sighing, JJ said "I guess I can say goodbye to that Apprenticeship then."

"What would make you think that?" asked Snape.

"Professor, I just blew up a Dreamless Sleep."

"Miss Carter...JJ, I understand you're not yourself at the moment. I have realised what date it is," he said softly. JJ sighed, then winced when the motion sent a jolt of pain through her chest. This didn't go unnoticed by Snape. "Lie down," he told her. "It will hurt less."

"Then you lie down too, so I can talk to you," she didn't realise what she was saying until she had said it. 'Oh crap!' she thought. 'What the hell was I thinking?'

To her immense surprise however, Snape complied, lying down beside her with his head resting on his hand.

JJ sighed. "A whole year sir. Can hardly believe it. Keep thinking she's going to come in that door, telling me to tidy my room and do my homework and wash my socks. But she ain't, 'cos she's gone. Gone and she ain't ever coming back." She bit back the few tears that threatened to escape.

"What happened JJ?" Snape asked gently. "What happened to your mother?"

Looking up at him, she suddenly couldn't stop the whole sorry story come spilling out of her mouth. "We were here, in this house. It was the first time Mum had wanted to come back since Dad was killed. She decided though that she had to try and put the past behind us. It was grand, just her and me. We got along grand on our own. But one day, there was a knock at the door. Mum told me to go upstairs and lock my door, and not to come out, no matter what I heard. I did what she said, and all I could hear was the sound of spells being fired and bangs and stuff. I tried to get out but there was wards on my door that I couldn't break.

"Then the door opened, and it was all quiet. I ran down the stairs, and there was Mum. 'Cept she wasn't Mum any more. Just a body. Just an empty, dead body. I found out who it was too. It was Lucius Malfoy. Bloody lying coward, bought his way out of Askaban, then goes around being a Death Eater when no one's looking." A few tears leaked out of her eyes, and Snape reached over to brush one away with the pad of his thumb. Resting his hand on her cheek, he said to her "You should sleep. You will feel better then."

"I don't want you to go," JJ told him in a quiet voice. She wondered if it was the potion that was causing her to blurt out every thought that she would normally not even acknowledge in her own head. It was true that she didn't want him to go, but she didn't exactly mean for him to know that.

"I'll stay," he whispered, surprising her.

JJ took his hand in both of her own. It was warm against hers, she always had cold hands. Turning it over, she ran her fingers lightly over all the little scars and burns from his years of Potion-making. Running her fingers up to his wrist, she made to undo the button on the cuff of his black shirt sleeve. His left sleeve.

"JJ...Don't.." he warned her. JJ ignored him, undoing the button and pushing back his sleeve, revealing the Dark Mark, faded to grey in Voldemort's absence. Looking up at Snape, she saw he was facing away from her, eyes closed, a pained expression on his face, as though fearing a bad reaction from her.

"You don't have to hide from me Severus," she told him gently. If Snape was surprised by her use of his first name, he didn't show it. "I know the story."

"Who...who told you?" he asked in a shaky voice.

"Mum."

"She was clever, your mother. Always seemed to know everything. You're very like her, in that sense." she smiled at him.

"Thank you," JJ said, and leaned forward to brush her lips against his in a gentle kiss. He froze, and she went to pull away until he suddenly was kissing her back softly. JJ felt as if her brain had melted. She was kissing Severus Snape!

Severus broke the kiss. "Sleep now," he murmered into her ear.

"Promise you wont go?" JJ pleaded.

"I promise," he assured her, and she fell asleep in his arms.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hi all, sorry this chapter took so long, but I really had no clue what I wanted to happen. In this chapter you'll meet another OC, JJ's best friend Katie. Katie is based on my own best friend, and trust me, Gryffindors and Slytherins can be friends. Also mentioned is a third OC, once again based on a real person.**

**I'll give 10 house points and a pie to whoever gets why my owl is called Tybalt. Here is Chapter 5!**

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>JJ woke up slowly. She had no idea how long she'd been asleep for, but it felt like a long time. Opening her eyes, she saw that it was obviously daytime from the light streaming in through the window. A rustle of paper alerted her to Snape's presence in an armchair by the window. He had stayed then. This didn't surprise JJ, because she had always felt that Severus Snape was not one to go back on his promises. She sat up slowly, noting that the pain had reduced somewhat. She watched Snape reading. He seemed so absorbed in the book, head tilted to one side, and wait, was he humming to himself? JJ was amazed at how peaceful he seemed. Not for long, she thought. She had kissed him last night. She had kissed her professor. Why the hell had she done that? She'd wanted to, obviously. But why?<p>

JJ's thoughts were interrupted by Snape coming over to her "How are you feeling?" he asked, sitting on the bed beside her.

"A bit better," she told him. "Professor, um... I'm sorry for, you know... um..."

"JJ, it's ok," he said gently. "If either of us is at fault, it is me."

"No, Professor, I shouldn't have kissed you. Simple as that." JJ sighed.

"Then why did you?" Snape asked.

"Honest answer is I've no idea, sir." He nodded, seeming to understand. Getting up, he told her "I'll be in the lab if you need me,"

"Alright Professor, see you in a bit."

"Oh and JJ, you can still call me Severus, if you want." Severus left JJ to her altogether quite confused thoughts.

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><p>JJ was sitting alone on the kitchen counter later when Tybalt swooped into the room, carrying some more letters. "Hey Tybalt," she said, taking the letters off him. Tybalt hooted at her, then flew back out the window to his nest in the garden shed.<p>

JJ looked at the letters. Three of them. Picking up the first, she saw it was from her good friend and fellow Gryffindor, Charlie Weasley. In his letter he told her all about his summer and how his brother Ron was sulking because he was still too young to go to Hogwarts, and didn't want to wait untill next year. JJ laughed at Charlie's descriptions of some of the tricks and jokes Fred and George had come up with. The twelve year old twins were trying out for Beaters on the quidditch team this year. Charlie said that they were good, and had a fair chance of getting on. JJ was on the team herself, she played Keeper. She couldn't wait to get back on her broom this year.

The next letter was from JJ's best friend Katie. Katie was a Slytherin, but the two got on unbelievably well, considering they were from rival houses. They had met on the Hogwarts Express on their first journey to Hogwarts, and each had resolved that they liked the other enough to stay friends if they ended up in different houses. In the letter, Katie told all about how her boyfriend Evan had visited a few weeks ago. Evan was an American wizard from the Salem Academy of Magic, and the couple had been together for about five years, ever since he had come over on an exchange for two months back in third year.

The last letter made JJ go as white as a sheet when she saw the handwriting. It was from Owen, JJ's boyfriend. Owen was a Ravenclaw in her year, and the two had been going out for a year. JJ didn't even read the letter, she couldn't. She felt too guilty to read all the happy things Owen had written while he was completely oblivious to what was going on with her and Severus. She'd kissed him, her professor, without even a thought to Owen. What kind of a person was she, not even thinking about her own boyfriend? JJ needed to talk to someone. And she knew exactly who.

JJ ran up the stairs and through the door to the attic. Once up those stairs, she took out her wand and muttered 'Incendio' at the fireplace. A fire burst to life. Taking a pinch of Floo powder, she threw it into the fire. "Katie's house," she told it, throwing a note into the now-green flames. Then she sat down and waited.

A few minutes later, her best friend appeared in the fire."JJ! What's wrong?" asked Katie, sitting on the floor beside her.

"Katie, I've done something really really stupid and I don't know what to do!"

"Calm down, tell me what happened," Katie instructed. JJ took a deep breath, then launched into the story of the past month, from Dumbledore assigning Severus as her protector, to the weird feelings she'd started having for him, right up until that morning, when he'd told her to call him Severus.

"And now I feel terrible because I forgot all about Owen!" she finished.

"Right," Katie said seriously. "So you're telling me you like Professor Snape?"

"Uh-huh" JJ replied.

"And you kissed him?"

"Yup."

"And he kissed you back?"

"Yeah."

"And you feel guilty because you like him, and Owen's your boyfriend?"

"Yes."

"Who do you like more?"

"Um... Well... I... uh..."

"It's Professor Snape isn't it?"

"Maybe..."

Katie gave JJ a serious look. "Do you love him?" she asked.

"I don't think so, but the thing is, if he was like he is now all the time, I could. Easily." JJ confessed.

"Are you scared?" Katie asked softly.

"Terrified."

Sighing, Katie cast a Tempus charm. "Crap, I've got to go! Listen, just floo if you need to, but remember, you'll probably never get a chance to get close to Professor Snape again, so if you do like him, take this chance."

JJ nodded. "I'll see you soon. And thank you," she told her.

Katie nodded and left through the Floo, leaving JJ alone with her thoughts once more.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi all, sorry it took so long for this one, but I've been a tad busy. Just to let you all know that Katie, who you met in the last chapter, has started writing her own fic about Katie and JJ. It's called 'The Blossoming Rose In Her Sweetest Dream' and it's amazing.**

**Here's chapter 6!**

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JJ didn't see Severus until late that evening. She was sitting cross-legged on the floor, surrounded by sheet music and playing her guitar when he knocked lightly on the open door. She looked up at him and her stomach did a little flip. 'Dammit!' she cursed inwardly.

"I was wondering if you had a copy of _'Moste Potente Potions'._ Severus told her.

"Yeah I should do," JJ said thoughtfully, getting up and crossing the room to the back wall, which was lined with shelf after shelf of books. Jumping up onto the chair from the desk beside the wall, she scanned the top shelves. "Got it," she muttered, pulling the old, heavy Potions book from the shelf and getting down. "What are you brewing?" she asked.

"Polyjuice Potion. Professor Dumbledore requested it," Severus answered, taking the book. JJ sat back down on the floor, and much to her surprise, he sat down beside her.

"Do you mind if I stay a while?" he asked softly.

"Not at all," she said, smiling at him. For the millionth time that month she wondered why the snarky git that was her Potions professor was being so unlike his usual self. He was being really nice to her, not making his usual comments about every flaw any Gryffindor he had ever taught had ever had, not answering every question she asked with a sarcastic retort. He had even let her borrow his advanced Potions book to brew Wolfsbane. No wonder she had kissed him last night.

"What were you playing?" Severus asked, bringing JJ out of her thoughts.

"Just an old Irish ballad. Mum's favourite. It's called 'Streets of New York,' she told him.

"What is it about?" JJ was surprised to find him genuinly interested.

"Well it's about a young Irish man who goes to New York to live with his uncle who is a garda there."

"Garda?" Severus questioned.

"Irish word for policeman."

"What happens to him?"

"Well he's sent off by his dad who stays to work on the family farm, and he goes off to Brooklyn. 'Cept when he gets there he finds out that his uncle got shot that day and died, so he rings his dad who tells him to stick with the plan and stay there. So he becomes a policeman and all, but then his dad dies so he has to go back home for the funeral. Then he sells the farm, chucks a handful of earth into his bags and off he goes back to America. Then at the end, he says that he never went back since, but even now, twenty-two years later, he still never forgets his country and all the green grass and the rivers and all."

"That's quite a story for one song," Severus commented, smiling slightly. JJ smiled back at him. He looked so much younger when he smiled.

"Yeah, you'll find that with our ballads. Most have quite a story to them," she told him

"Do you have a favourite one?" Severus asked.

Nodding, JJ replied "I've a few. Most were my mum's favourites as well, but sometimes we'd disagree. Will I play one for you?"

"Please."

JJ took a breath and closed her eyes for a moment, thinking. Opening them again, she smiled. "This is about a man from Dublin who loved his town, back when Dublin was a town, but he didn't like how it was becoming a city, so he decided to leave it. The song is him remembering Dublin back when he was young. It's called 'Rare Auld Times'."

Adjusting her guitar, she started to play:

"Raised on songs & stories, heroes of re-known

The passing tales & glories that once was Dublin town

The hallowed halls & houses, the haunting childrens' rhymes

That once was Dublin city in the rare auld times

Ring a ring a rosie, as the light declines

I remember Dublin city in the rare auld times

My name it is Sean Demspey, as Dublin as can be

Born hard & late in Pimlico, in a house that ceased to be

By trade I was a cooper, lost out to redundancy

Like my house that fell to progress, my trade's a memory

& I courted Peggy Dignan, as pretty as you please

A rogue & a child of Mary, from the rebel liberties

I lost her to a student chap with a skin as black as coal

When he took her off to Birmingham, she took away my soul

Ring a ring a rosie, as the light declines

I remember Dublin city in the rare auld times

The years have made me bitter, the gargle dims my brain

'Cause Dublin keeps on changing & nothing stays the same

The Pillar & the Met have gone, the Royal long since pulled down

As the great unyielding concrete makes a city of my town

Ring a ring a rosie, as the light declines

I remember Dublin city in the rare auld times

Fare thee well sweet Anna Liffey, I can no longer stay

& watch the new glass cages, that spring up along the quay

My mind's too full of memories, too old to hear new chimes

I'm part of what was Dublin in the rare auld times

Ring a ring a rosie, as the light declines

I remember Dublin city in the rare auld times

Ring a ring a rosie, as the light declines

I remember Dublin city in the rare auld times."

JJ was breathing hard by the time she finished. Severus smiled. "You really love your guitar, don't you?"

"Yeah," JJ murmered, stroking the smooth black wood. "It was a present from my dad, for my eight birthday." Flipping it over, she showed him the back. There, inscribed onto the guitar was 'JJ' in gold letters next to an outline of a lion.

"A lion? Interesting choice. Imagine you had not been a Gryffindor," Severus teased lightly.

She laughed. "The lion was interesting, it actually didn't appear until after I was Sorted. Got the shock of my life when I picked it up. Nearly dropped it into the fire!"

Severus moved closer too her. "You're amazing at it," he whispered into her ear. JJ was frozen with nerves, suddenly very aware of the man beside her. She realised that she had stopped thinking of him as Professor Snape, her teacher, and started to see him as just Severus.

Severus traced the letters engraved into the guitar, his hand gently touching hers in the process. JJ couldn't ignore the spark of electricity that seemed to come from his touch. Her heart raced within her chest, and she was sure he could hear it beating. JJ turned around so she was facing him. Severus was very close to her now. The only sounds she could hear were his breathing and the fire crackling in the hearth, even though it was August. Making a snap decision she would surely regret later, she leaned forward slightly to kiss his lips gently. To her surprise, he kissed her back, just like the night before, except this time he didn't pull away after a few seconds. Instead, one of his arms went around her, bringing her closer to him. She tangled her hands in his black hair as he kissed her. When he ran his tongue lightly over her bottom lip, she yeilded to him willingly.

JJ was rapidly losing all capacity for coherent thought, but resolved quickly that this might be her only chance to be with Severus like this, and she was going to take it. After all, the way that he was kissing her, Severus didn't seem to have any doubts about this. So she made her choice, and held nothing back from the Potions Master that night as he kissed her, letting all her reservations fade away in the moment.


	7. Chapter 7

Some time later, JJ lay with her head resting on Severus' shoulder and his arm around her, absent-mindedly tracing the scars on his chest. The fire in the grate had reduced to glowing embers, but the wood-panelled room was warm enough without it. Severus had been quiet for a while now, and his breathing was slow and steady, but JJ was sure he wasn't asleep. The man seemed to never sleep. She wondered if he was an insomniac. It really wouldn't be surprising if he was, she thought. She wondered if he had slept last night at all. She highly doubted it.

Thinking about it now, JJ figured she had made her choice. She knew what she had been doing, and only had herself to blame if this all blew up in her face. Logically, she should forgotten about kissing Severus, and put that in a locked box guarded by several irritated hippogryffs and moved swiftly onward. She should have been looking forward to seeing Owen in September, and not even given a thought to the possibility of being with anyone else. But she had. She, Janet Josephine Carter, had done exactly have what she did best: screwed everything six ways from Sunday and gotten herself in a right big mess. Not only had she cheated on Owen, she'd also slept with her professor!

Once again, JJ wondered why she'd done it. Why had she acted on her feelings when she shouldn't have? Why had she even had said feelings in the first place? Severus was her professor. He was thirteen years older than her. He was a former Death Eater. All those things should have been important, should have stopped her. And yet, they hadn't. She wondered idly if she was falling for him.

Severus sighed, interupting her thoughts. "You ok?" JJ asked, looking up at him.

"Yes, it's just... That was your first time, was it not?"

She nodded. "Does it matter?"

Severus sighed again. "I suppose it does not now, no."

Shaking her head, JJ settled next to him again. "Severus, can I ask you something?"

"If you wish to enlighten me as to what questions your insatiable Gryffindor curiousity has come up with, then I suppose I shall be powerless to stop you," he drawled in reply.

"Git. I was just wondering, if you care about the whole professor-student thing, and clearly you do care, then why did you do it?"

"I do believe that that is a discussion for another time when we are both decidedly more awake," he said softly. "Now go to sleep, I'll be here when you wake up."

"Promise?" JJ asked yawning.

"I promise."

* * *

><p>It was light when JJ woke again. Severus was sitting on the edge of the bed, his back to her, dressed in his shirt and trousers, writing a note. "Morning," she mumbled drowsily, shifting into a sitting position. He turned to look at her.<p>

"I didn't mean to wake you," he said.

"It's ok, where you going?" she asked.

"Professor Dumbledore wishes to see me. I had hoped to be back before you woke, I shouldn't be long."

"Why in God's name does he want to see you at seven in the morning?" JJ grumbled.

"I have no idea," Severus said, leaning over to kiss her. "I will be back soon." He crossed to the fireplace, threw in some Floo powder and was gone.

JJ sighed. People always said things were supposed to be clearer in the light of day, but for her things seemed to be just as confusing as before. Thinking back, she remember when she had first started dating Owen. It had been so different. She'd been so much younger. She'd still had her mum back then. Mum had always approved of Owen. JJ wondered what she would have thought of Severus.

Really though, she concluded, her feelings for Severus were different than those for Owen. Owen was the sweetest guy you'd ever meet, he was clever and funny and her best friend. But Severus, he was dark and dangerous. Amazingly intelligent, but sarcastic and cynical. He had a certain mystery around him that intrigued her. He was quite antisocial, she thought, living in the dungeons and being a git to pretty much everyone. There was no comparing them, they were too different. Sighing, JJ dragged herself out of bed and went downstairs to shower.

* * *

><p>When Severus came back, JJ was sitting on the kitchen counter, reading a letter that Tybalt had just brought, and feeling marginally better. "Who is that from?" he asked, pointing to the letter.<p>

"Remus," she said cheerfully.

"Lupin?"

"The very same."

"Why on earth would Remus Lupin be writing to you?"

"He's my cousin," she told him. "Didn't you know?"

"Evidentially not."

"Oh but I thought you knew everything Professor," she teased lightly. He scowled, but JJ could tell he was only joking as well. She put the letter down and picked up the drum-like instrument that had been resting beside her.

"What is that?" Severus asked, gesturing to the instrument.

"It's a bodhran," she told him. "A kind of Irish drum." JJ held it up for him to see. It was a circlular band of wood, a foot in diameter and about three inches thick. Stretched over the wood and bolted to the edges was a sheet of goat skin. "It had a Claddagh design on it," she said, pointing to the design. It was a pair of hands encasing a heart and topped with a crown. "The hands mean friendship, the crown loyalty and the heart love. You see it alot here, especially in tourist places. Most girls would have it on a necklace or a ring."

"How do you play it?" Severus asked.

"Like this." Placing the bodhran on her lap, JJ picked up a small wooden stick with a groove in it. "This is a tipper," she told him. She ran the longer end of the tipper lightly upwards over the surface of the drum, then flicked her wrist so the small end hit it aswell. She repeated this several times over, producing a loud, fast drumbeat. "See? It's easy. Want to give it a shot?" she asked him.

Severus raised an eyebrow at her, and she smiled back it him. He sighed. "Very well then."

He came over to sit on the counter beside her. She handed him the drum, and he moved it onto his lap the same way she had just showed him. JJ placed the tipper in his hand, showing him what way to hold it. She guided his hand, bringing the tipper up and back down again, first slowly, then faster. Soon he had gotten the hang of it on his own.

"Very good! With a bit of practice you'd be ready to play at a céile," she told him truthfully. He chuckled, and leaned down to brush his lips against hers briefly before hopping down of the counter.

"I shall be in the lab if you need me," he said.

"Okay."

He smiled and left, leaving JJ thinking that she was certainly in a lot of trouble as far as her feelings for this man were concerned.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Ok, this chapter is almost unforgivably short, but I promise the next will be a lot longer. Don't forget to check 'The Blossoming Rose in Her Sweetest Dream' by xVer. Here is Chapter 8!**

Severus spent all day in the lab, and JJ didn't see him again until it was late. She was in the attic, looking at an old photo album with pictures of her mother and father when they were young. Flipping the page, she came across one taken when her mother was pregnant. They looked so happy, despite everything bad that had been going on at that time. It had been right in the middle of Voldemort's reign of terror, and both of them had been members of the Order Of The Phoenix. They had fought so hard, she thought. All to try and make things better. She looked at her dad's smiling face and wished she could have gotten to know him better. Her mother had told her loads about him, how brave and kind he was, how JJ was very like him. Her mother had been so proud when she'd written to tell her that she was a Gryffindor, like Dad had been. Her Mum had been in Hufflepuff.

JJ heard the sound of footsteps on the stairs. Moments later, there came a knock on the door. "Come in," she answered. Severus opened the door and came to sit beside her. He had a bottle in one hand, and his wand in the other.

"Do you want a drink?" he asked, holding up the bottle, which had firewhiskey in.

"No thanks, don't do alcohol," she replied.

"Any particular reason?"

"Got drunk once. Woke up with the single worst headache I've ever had in my life. That put me off a bit. You look tired," she added.

"Mmm," he agreed, running a hand over his eyes. "Brewing all these potions for the Headmaster is starting to take it's toll."

"Why does he need them?" JJ asked.

"There has been an outbreak of some strange disease in North America. It is believed that it could be caused by a type of poison. I am needed to assist in creating an antidote."

"Is it a from poisonous creature?"

"That remains unknown." He sighed. "It seems to be slow acting and deadly, and I need to work quickly in order to save those already affected, as well as prevent further cases."

JJ tilted her head to one side, looking at him. She sighed and moved over to hug him, smiling slightly when he relaxed, and his arms went around her in return.

"D'you know," she said, "sometimes you just need a hug."

"I'll take your word for it."

"Severus, about what I asked you last night, I -"

She was interrupted by a bright silver light bursting into the room, materialising in the shape of a phoenix patronus. "Severus," it said in Dumbledore's voice. "You are needed." It faded. Severus sighed again. "It seems I must go." He pulled her close and kissed her gently before getting up. "I may very well be late, don't wait for me," he told her.

"Bye then," she smiled at him. He walked to the fireplace, and JJ watched him dissapear in the green flames.

* * *

><p>JJ woke up slowly the next morning. Pulling herself out of bed, she threw on a hoodie and made her way downstairs. There was no sign of Severus anywhere. She sighed, and made her way to the kitchen to make some breakfast. Walking in, she was startled to see Professor Dumbledore sitting at the kitchen table.<p>

"Professor! " she exclaimed.

"Good morning Miss Carter," said the headmaster, his blue eyes twinkling behind his half moon spectacles.

"I'll take it you know where Severus is?" she asked, without thinking. Dumbledore raised an eyebrow, but ade no comment about her use of her professor's first name.

"Severus is needed urgently at Hogwarts, and unfortunately must remain there until the start of the school year. I am afraid you will be alone for the remainder of the holidays," he told her. "I have placed some special enchantments around the building that should alert me as to any dangerous magic in the vicinity."

"Ok, sir."

"Very well then, Miss Carter, I shall see you at the start of the school year."

The headmaster disapparated with a swish of his midnight blue robes. JJ sighed. She was alone again. She was going to miss Severus. She thought back to what Katie had asked her when she'd told her about kissing him.

_"Do you love him?"_

Maybe, she thought. Maybe.


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry this chapter took so long, but it's here now. In this chapter we briefly meet Owen, and we'll be seeing alot more of him later on, and we also meet Isaac Marwood, who is not my character and belongs to my friend xVer. Here is Chapter 9**

**xxx**

"You did WHAT?" Katie's exclaimation echoed through the carriage. The two girls were sitting in a compartment at the back of the Hogwarts Express, on their way to their final year of magical education at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and JJ had just finished telling Katie about everything that had happened between her and Severus.

"Sssh! Keep your voice down!" JJ told her. "If anyone hears you I'm done for!"

"Sorry J, but," she dropped her voice to a whisper, "you're saying that you slept with Professor Snape?"

"Don't sound so bloody shocked! It was you that said to try and 'get close to him'."

"I said get to know him, not _sleep_ with him!"

"Well sorry."

"But J, seriously! He's a Professor! you could get in serious trouble! Why did you?"

"I know, I know, and I don't know. He was being different than he is in class. Nicer, less hostile. I guess I just took the chance while I had it. Granted, I wasn't expecting things to go quite that far -"

"I should hope not!" Katie cut in.

"But I don't regret it." JJ finished. Katie sighed. "Have you talked to Owen yet?" She asked.

"No, I saw him earlier but I wasn't exactly ready to tell him."

"Are you going to tell him?"

"Of course I'm going to tell him, I can hardly not tell him now can I?"

"I suppose not."

JJ sighed, and reached for her trunk. Opening the lid, she took her guitar out and sat back in the corner of the seat, playing light tunes as they decended into a comfortable silence.

After about half an hour, JJ spoke. "How's Evan?" she asked. "You usually don't shut up about him, is something wrong?"

"He's fine. Nothing's wrong," Katie replied, a little too quickly.

"Katie, what aren't you telling me?" JJ could usually tell quite easily when Katie was hiding something, and now was no different.

"Nothing, I just -"

Katie was cut off by the door of their compartment opening and a Slytherin walking in. Isaac Marwood, one of Katie's best friends and sworn enemy of JJ. He was tall, well muscled, with short, dark hair and grey-green eyes. Marwood played Beater on the Slytherin Quidditch team, and was notorious for attempting to injure opposing team's Keepers. JJ had many a time been on the receiving end of a Marwood Bludger.

Marwood came in and hugged Katie. "Katie! I missed you!" he said. Looking over to JJ, he nodded in greeting. "Carter."

"Marwood." she returned the nod. It was then she noticed the bright badge glinting on the front of the Slytherin's black school robes. "No way!" she exclaimed.

"What?" scowled Marwood.

"You're Head Boy!"

"So?" he asked impatiently. Then, noticing JJ's own badge, "you're Head Girl?"

JJ nodded and he groaned. Katie sighed. "I'm sure you'll be able to get along just fine." The two glared at her, and she quietened.

* * *

><p>"Hey, JJ!"<p>

JJ groaned. Why did it have to be now? Muttering a few curses under her breath, she turned to face the owner of the voice that had stopped her in her tracks on the way into the Great Hall for the welcoming feast. Owen came up to her, a big smile on his face.

"Hi!" she said, faking a smile. Owen was a tall Ravenclaw, with blonde hair and blue-green eyes. His nose was slightly crooked, and he was very thin. He hugged her.

"I missed you," he said. She smiled at him, and he took her hand, and they walked into the Great Hall together. JJ didn't noticed the pair of black eyes that watched them from the shadows near the dungeon corridor.

* * *

><p>The Welcoming Feast was the same as usual, wonderful food, and lots of talking and laughter. JJ looked up at the staff table. There was Severus, at the far end. He wasn't looking at her, instead he was surveying his house table, scrutinising the new Slytherins. Gryffindor house had gained ten new students, six boys and four girls. JJ hadn't missed their looks of awe when Headmaster Dumbledore had introduced her and Marwood as Head Boy and Girl. She smiled, remembering back when she had been a little first year, thinking how great the Head Boy, a Gryffindor that year, had been.<p>

At the end of the feast, Professor Dumbledore made his usual speech, informing the students that the Forbidden Forest was in fact still forbidden, and that Filch had put up yet another list of banned items. JJ made a mental note to check that one out, she had a duty to enforce these rules after all. The Headmaster beckoned her over as the Prefects led the rest of the students out of the hall.

"Now, Miss Carter, Mr Marwood, I believe it is time that you were shown to your rooms," he said. They followed the Headmaster out of the Hall, and JJ caught sight of black robes retreating down the dungeon corridor. She decided to go and speak with Severus the next day. It had been three weeks after all, and she had no idea how his feelings might have changed in that time. In fact, she hadn't known what his feelings were in the first place.

Dumbledore led them up to the fifth floor, and stopped at a portrait of a knight in armour. "This is the entrance to your private quarters. Inside, the door on the left is yours, Mr Marwood, and on the right yours, Miss Carter. The password is currently 'Apple Drops', but you may change it as you wish. I trust you will be alright to be left now?" On receiving nods from them both, he continued. "You can discuss Patrol Rotas with the prefects as you wish, and I will see you both tomorrow. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Headmaster," they both said.

"Apple Drops," JJ said to the portrait, and in swung forward. Stepping inside, she turned to Marwood. "See you in the morning." He nodded to her, and both went in their seperate doors.

The room was decorated in red and gold, Gryffindor colours. It had a four poster bed, the same as the one she had had in her dormitory in the Tower. At one end of the room was a fireplace and two armchairs. There was also a desk and a number of bookshelves. JJ smiled. No matter what kind of messes she had gotten herself into in the past few months, none of that mattered right now. Right now, she was at Hogwarts. She was home.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Sorry this one took so long, but I had some other stuff I was working on, and then school and all got in the way a bit. This one's a bit short, but it's quite important. Don't forget to check out 'The Blossoming Rose in her Sweetest Dream' by my friend xVer, and the OC Josh Dodds is hers. Here's Chapter 10**

**xxxxx**

"JJ! What have you got first?" Katie's voice made JJ stop on her way out of the Great Hall. Turning to smile at her friend, JJ replied "Potions. Bloody typical isn't it?"

Katie laughed. "Yeah. At least you'll be able to like, talk to him and all."

"Yeah, I've a free period after. I'll stay behind after class and sort it out." JJ sighed. "I just don't know what to expect."

"It'll be fine, don't worry."

As they were about to walk down the corridor to the dungeons, a few first years ran by. "Hey Katie!" called a little Gryffindor boy, grinning at the older girl.

"Hey Josh," Katie said, waving at him.

"Who's that?" asked JJ.

"He's my new little friend I met yesterday. Josh Dodds. He's a muggleborn," Katie explained.

"Cool. I'll keep an eye out for him, the Gryffindors this year seem quite a mischeivious lot. God only knows how many practical jokes and plans are going to come from my house this year."

* * *

><p>Entering the potions classroom, JJ felt a sudden jolt of nervous excitement as she thought of the class. Potions was her favourite subject by a long way. There was just something about it for her. It was such an exact process, combining ingrediants to make something that did things which wizards didn't even have spells for. It wasn't just chopping a few roots or that and chucking them in a cauldron. It was pouring magic into the mixture, bringing it to life, giving it power. JJ supposed she hadn't really understood that fully before watching Severus brewing.<p>

Her thoughts were interupted by said Potions Master walking into the room. The class fell silent as he swept in, his black teaching robes billowing out behind him. He really did seem quite intimidating, she reflected, watching as he strode to the top of the classroom, turning to face his class. His harsh, cold expression didn't fool JJ at all. She knew the warmth those black eyes could hold, the soft, gentle tones he had spoken in. She was unable to supress a slight shiver as he adressed the class, and, firmly shoving the memories to the back of her mind, she turned her attention back to her teacher. After all, right now he was just that, her teacher.

The next few hours were spent brewing Veritaserum. It was insanely difficult, and JJ nearly added the wrong ingrediant twice, both times because Severus had been checking her cauldron. She could smell him as he walked past, a scent of herbs and spices, and something metalic, like copper, and it was making it difficult to concentrate. Finally, at the end of the class, JJ bottled her near-perfect potion, left it on his desk with the rest, and returned to clean up her desk. Looking at Katie, she smiled nervously.

"Go on ahead," JJ told her. "I'll be grand."

"Good luck," Katie grinned, and turned to leave with the rest of the class.

Watching the class file out as the bell rang, JJ walked around to sit on her table, facing Severus. He still wasn't looking at her, instead focusing on examining the potions in front of him.

"Don't you have a class to go to, Miss Carter?" he asked, still not looking up.

"Nope. And neither do you." she answered.

"And what makes you believe that you are correct in that assumption?" he sounded faintly irritated.

"I've a list of all the Heads of House's free periods, in case I need to talk to any of them about students from their house," she explained.

"And do you?"

"Well, no but -"

"Then I see no reason for you to still be here." JJ was confused at his tone. He sounded really annoyed now.

"Severus, what's wrong?"

"I am your professor, and you will adress me as such, now I suggest you leave." He finally looked up at her, and JJ was shocked to see the empty, cold expression in his eyes. There was a flicker of something else there as well, something she didn't understand. "I mean it, Miss Carter go. Go back to your boyfriend."

Suddenly, it all made sense. The emotion she hadn't understood, it was betrayal. '_He knows about Owen' _she thought. '_Oh god, this can't be happening!' _

"What?" Severus asked, seeing her shocked expression. "Did you think I didn't know? Think I wouldn't find out? Just go."

To shocked to even argue, to numb to try and explain, JJ left. Until that moment, she hadn't been certain of her feelings at all. But in that moment, that moment of him telling her to leave, looking at her with those cold, cold eyes, she had been sure. Back in her room, JJ broke down and cried. She was in love with him. For certain.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: This chapter is so long overdue it should be illegal, and for that, I'm sorry. I can't claim that it's all that interesting either, but things will pick up soon. **

**xxxxx**

It was three in the morning, but JJ didn't care. Sleep was almost a foriegn concept to her now. Every time she closed her eyes, she was in another memory, reliving another moment from her past. Bad moments, the day of her dad's funeral, the moment she had opened the door to see her mother's lifeless body on the floor. Every night for the past two weeks, ever since her first day back at school, when Severus had ordered her out of the Potions classroom, the few hours of sleep she had managed to get were plagued by her nightmares.

Really, JJ thought, she was a wreck, barely holding herself together. She had tried so hard to be the strong one when her mother had died, not letting herself break down. She hadn't let herself greive properly. All the time, JJ tried to be a Gryffindor. To be strong and brave, and face everything head on. But her mother's death had been a different story. By trying to confront it, she'd bottled everything up, closing all her emotions into a box and trying to move on, hoping that the pain would go away. It hadn't worked, it had only put off dealing with the hurt until now, when, along with everything else, it was slowly ripping her apart.

Since that morning in Potions, JJ had been throwing herself into her school work with everything she had, using it to distract herself from everything. She was still avoiding talking to Owen, because every time she tried, he would say somethig ridiculously sweet, or give her a look that showed just how oblivious he was to the mess she was making of everything, and she would lose her nerve completely. Because of this, she tried to avoid him as much as possible. It wasn't the right thing to do, she knew, but telling him would break his heart, and she couldn't face that yet.

And then there was Katie. There was something wrong with her, and JJ knew it. But every time she tried to figure out what it was, Katie would insist she was fine, and JJ had too much on her mind to attempt to push the matter further. Her best friend was slipping away, and there was nothing she could do about it.

Sighing, JJ pushed away the textbook on advanced Transfiguration that she had been attempting to read for the past three hours and stood up. She decided it might be best to leave her homework for the night, seen as she had all of tomorrow's assigments completed all ready. She went over to where her trunk lay open at the end of her bed and found her broom, a Nimbus 1999, the latest in the Nimbus series. It was an ideal Keeper's broom, stable and easy to change direction on quickly. Keepers didn't need to be fast, because they stayed by the goal hoops and didn't need to outrun anyone like Seekers, they only needed to be able to think and react quickly. They had to be alert and observent, and especially good at catching things. Really, it was amazing that JJ was such a good Keeper, seen as she was so clumsy, but up in the air she was much more co-ordinated.

She pulled on a jacket to guard against the undoubtedly cold night air, and slipped out of her room. Patrols finished hours ago, so she didn't meet anyone on her way downstairs. Pulling out her wand, she muttered the charm that unlocked the doors and slipped out into the night. It was cold, as she'd thought, but the sky was clear of clouds and the stars shone brightly. Her cousin Remus had once taught her the names of the constellations and she could still pick out certian patterns in the stars. When she had first come to Hogwarts, the stars had been a source of comfort for her, because her mother had told her that the stars she saw shining over the hills in Scotland were the same ones as she saw in the sky at home. They had been a constant for her, and she had spent many nights staring at the sky through the common room window.

JJ walked a little bit away from the great castle before mounting her broom and kicking off. There was no feeling equal to flying, she thought as she felt the first sudden rush of cold air hit her as she soared up into the sky. Flying was one of the things she loved the most about her magic. It made her feel as if she could do anything. It made her feel free. Up in the air, looking out over the grounds of the castle that was her home, JJ resolved to sort things out, one way or another.

* * *

><p>The next morning saw JJ attempting to stay awake enough not to blow up the entire Potions lab. The potion they were making was tricky, and some of the ingredients were quite dangerous, so at least for now all of her focus was on what she was doing and not her professor. At the end of the class, JJ was feeling quite satisfied with her final result, and certainly a lot more awake that she had been at breakfast. The potion in her flask would definately get her an E, if not an O from any fair professor, but for the past two weeks she had been lucky to even pass some of Proffesor Snape's assigments.<p>

At the end of the class, as she was about to leave, Snape called her back. "Miss Carter, a word."

JJ froze. It was the first time in two weeks that he had actually spoken to her, but his tone was as cold and hostile as ever. Gritting her teeth and attempting to summon some of her Gryffindor courage, she turned. "Sir?"

He was examining a vial of potion, avoiding looking at her directly. "Your assessment for your apprenticeship begins tonight, that is if you are still interested."

She was stunned. She hadn't given any thought to the possibility of still becoming a Potions Apprentice. "Uh o-of course sir," she stuttered.

"Be at my office at seven. Do not be late."

With that, he stood and swept out of the room through the door behind him, leaving one very confused Gryffindor behind him.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Yet another rather depressing chapter here, but things will lighten up a bit soon. Here we meet two characters, one is Adam Scott, belonging to my dear friend xVer, and the other is Casey Deverill, who is my own. And I should mention, I love reviews, even if it's only a few words to let me know what you think :)**

**xxxx**

"Don't look now, but Casey's trying to kill me with her eyes again," JJ muttered across the table to Katie as the pair took their seats in Transfiguration; JJ beside Owen and Katie beside his best friend Adam Scott. Over the other side of the classroom, Casey Deverill, a Hufflepuff student that JJ really didn't get on with at all, was glaring daggers at her. The two had once been friends, but after a lot of drama, rumors, accusations and awful fights, they had become something akin to enemies.

"Will she ever let it go?" Adam asked. "It's what, four years since you two had that row?"

"Yeah," JJ told him. "I couldn't care less anymore, but there isn't a snowball's chance in Hell she'll give over and move on anytime soon." JJ grinned at him. She liked Adam. He was roughly Owen's height, with chin-length ginger hair and kind brown eyes. He was a Ravenclaw, like Owen, and very studious, yet bubbly and loud, and a fun guy to be around. He was easy to get along with, and JJ liked that about him. Currently, him and Owen were locked in a discussion about whatever Muggle video game the two had been playing over the summer. Both were Muggleborn, and had grown up in the same village in the Yorkshire countryside. They really were inseperable, and had become friends with Katie and JJ in their second year.

Katie rolled her eyes at the boys and turned back to JJ. "So, what did Snape want," she asked quietly.

"I'm being assessed for a Potions apprenticeship," JJ told her. "Starts tonight."

"Is he still being a bastard?" Katie asked.

"He's being who I always thought he was before," she sighed. "Katie, I'm an idiot."

Just then, Professor McGonagall walked into the classroom and all conversation ceased.

* * *

><p>Seven o'clock that evening saw JJ nervously knocking on Professor Snape's office door. The dungeons were cold and dark, and JJ was fighting to keep a level head. When the order came to enter, she pushed open the heavy wooden door and walked inside. Professor Snape's office was an amazing room. It's stone walls were lined with shelf upon shelf of weird and wonderful potions ingrediants. Some were standard ingrediants, some were quite rare, but there was a whole shelf of odd slimy things that JJ was positive he only had to creep people out. In front of his desk was a bench with a cauldron and some ingrediants beside it, along with a potions book, presumably the equipment she would be working with.<p>

The professor himself was sitting at his desk with his fingers steepled, observing her quietly with those cold, black eyes. He gestured to the stool by the bench, and she sat down. He watched her for another long moment before speaking.

"As you are already aware, Miss Carter, you are here to complete and assessment to determine whether you have the necessary capabilities to be considered as a Potions apprentice," he drawled. "It will last ten weeks, and each potion you complete within those ten weeks will be graded. You require a minimum of seven Outstanding grades to be considered. Is that understood?"

"Yes sir," JJ answered.

"Very well. Your first potion is Blood-Replenishing Potion. I trust you will not find it difficult?"

"No sir."

"Then begin."

When the hour was up, JJ was a wreck. Being alone in a room with Snape was doing her absolutely no good. The biggest part of her brain was yelling at her, _Don't screw up!_ while another, smaller part was forcing her to rewind that night over and over in her head. That coupled with Snape's snide comments and digs about her House had meant that she had to forcibly stop her hands from shaking and messing up the potion. She was relieved when he told her she could leave, and quickly exited the classroom.

Her head was a mess. JJ knew she loved him, but right now she hated him too. She was so strung out, sad, frustrated and stupid. And angry, oh she was angry. Angry at Snape, for messing up her head so much, angry at her mother for dying and leaving her all alone to try and cope. But most of all, she was angry at herself, for being a stupid, stupid idiot who fell for the wrong guy, did the wrong thing, and couldn't get herself sorted out. In that moment, JJ Carter snapped.

She turned around, rage flowing through her veins, and drove her fist into the stone wall of the corridor. Over and over, she pounded the wall with her fist, not caring that she was bleeding profusedly, not caring that it hurt, or that her hand was probably broken in a few places by now. She just hit the wall, until all the anger left her and she slid to the ground to cry.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Didn't want to leave too much of a gap between the last chapter and this one, so here it is.**

**xxxx**

In the end, it was Isaac who found her. JJ didn't know how long she'd been there, curled in a ball in the abandoned dungeon corridor, cradling her bruised and bloody hand.

"What are you at, Carter?" Isaac growled.

"Go away," JJ told him.

"No. Now get up," he instructed.

"What?" she glared at him.

"I don't know what's wrong with you, and to be honest I really don't care. Get up."

"And why the hell would I listen to you?"

"Look at yourself Carter. You are Head Girl of this school, and right now you're sitting on the floor crying, covered in blood. How do you think that looks?"

JJ glared at him, but he had a point. She pushed herself up with her good hand and stood up. She tried to be mad at him, but found that she hadn't any anger left. She felt tired, drained. It was as if the anger was in the blood flowing freely from the wounds on her hand. It was leaving her now, taking all her energy and fight with it, leaving her feeling empty.

"Good," Isaac said once she was on her feet. "Now come on."

"Where?" JJ snapped.

"The hospital wing you moron. Now move."

She started to protest, so he grabbed her by the back of her collar and began to drag her down the corridor. JJ was powerless to do anything but comply. He was much bigger than her, and had a typical Slytherin exterior, tough and unsympathetic. That was good for JJ, if someone had tried to be nice or understanding it might have just pushed her over the edge again.

When they got to the hospital wing, Isaac pushed her inside and nodded to Madam Pomfrey, who came rushing over, before turning around and leaving without another word. JJ sat down on a bed and didn't look at Madam Pomfrey as she gently examined her left hand. "Oh dear. Do I want to know what happened?"

JJ just shook her head and stared blankly into space. She felt so detached, disconnected from the world. It was as if suddenly, a big glass wall had slammed down around her, cutting her off. Madam Pomfrey's words only barely registered. "..too much damage to repair completely, I've healed the bones, but the skin will have to repair itself."

JJ just nodded vaguely again as she flexed her newly bandaged hand. "_Charlie's going to kill me,"_ she thought absently. It was true, her red-headed friend took his job as Quidditch Captain very seriously, and was unlikely to be impressed with a Keeper that had busted their hand. At least it was her left hand, had it been her right she would have been severely inconvenienced.

JJ got up to go, but Madam Pomfrey stopped her. "You're going nowhere JJ, sit back down."

JJ gave her a pleading look. "Don't give me that look. You're exhausted, and an emotional wreck. You're staying here."

JJ sighed, but protested no further.

About an hour later, the door to the hospital wing opened, and possibly the last person JJ would have wanted to see at that particular time walked in. Professor Snape. And he didn't look happy. Ignoring Madam Pomfrey's protests that JJ should be left alone, he strode straight over and glared at her.

"What the hell did you do?" he snapped angrily.

"Hit a wall." JJ muttered.

"Clearly. Now would you care to explain why?" he asked through obviously gritted teeth.

"No."

"Miss Carter -" he began, but was cut off by JJ.

"_Don't _'Miss Carter' me!" she yelled at him. "What the hell do you care anyway?"

"Your blood is on the wall of my dungeons, I happen to feel obliged to care somewhat!" Snape barked angrily at her.

"Oh I see. Don't worry, this ain't anything to do with your precious little Slytherins, you can go away and leave me the hell alone, alright?"

Snape sighed, and looked her straight in the eye. "You, Miss Carter, are a foolish and impulsive Gryffindor. You are dangerous."

With that, he turned and left.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Extremely important chapter here, JJ's finally set about doing things she should have a while ago.**

**xxxxx**

"JJ, what are you DOING?"

"Sorry, I'm SORRY!" she yelled back at Charlie as she swooped down to catch the Quaffle. It was the third time in about ten minutes that she'd let what should have been an easy save through one of the fifty foot goal hoops. As arguably the best Keeper in the school, this was highly unusual for her.

"JJ, get on the ground, now!" Charlie yelled at her. She dived to the ground and got off her broom, waiting for him to land beside her. As soon as he was off his own broom, Charlie was in full-on angry Quidditch Captain mode.

"What the bloody Hell is wrong with you? Those were easy saves, JJ, you can catch passes like that in your sleep! What the hell is going on with you lately? You're playing like crap!"

JJ just stared at the ground and waited as he continued: "The first match of the season is in a little over a month, we've got four new players this year, FOUR! I need to be able to rely on you, and I just can't! I mean, last week, you smashing up your hand and all, and now not even being able to catch a bloody Quaffle! I can't put you out against Slytherin like this! What's happened to you? You're just not, I don't know, _you_ anymore!"

Sighing, JJ realised that his last statement had been absolutely correct. For six years she had been JJ, class clown. The silly one, the funny one. The one everyone could get along with. She had always been clever, but her laid-back attitude and general cheerful dispostion was not that of a studious and calculating Ravenclaw. She had been one of the most popular people in her year, purely for the fact that she tried her very hardest to be nice to everyone, even the Slytherins. Really, the only person who she really, really disliked was Isaac, and that wasn't anything to do with his house.

Now though, she was so different. Serious, closed off and altogether quite anti-social. And stressed. Most people would put that change down to her being Head Girl, and very few knew better. Only herself, Snape, and possibly Katie. But that wasn't right. There was someone else who should know, someone else she should have told by now. Severus had been right, she was dangerous. She could hurt herself and everyone around her so easily that it scared her. No, she couldn't keep on like this.

As she reached her decision to start fixing the mess she had made for herself, she realised that Charlie was still glaring at her, waiting for an answer. As she met his eyes, they softened. "JJ, are you alright?" he asked.

"No. But I will be. Don't worry Charlie, I promise," she told him. "But for now, there's something I have to go do."

"Fine," he told her. "As long as you're there to beat Slytherin, I don't care what you've to do."

She smiled at him, a proper smile, and turned toward the castle.

* * *

><p>Half an hour later, JJ sat in front of the fire in her room when there came a knock on the door. "Come in," she called, looking up from the flames as Owen walked in.<p>

"Hey J," he greeted her. "You said you needed to talk?"

She nodded, and averted her gaze back to the flames as he sat down. She couldn't look at him, not now. Taking a deep breath, she began to speak:

"Owen, over the summer I told you about being called to Hogwarts by Professor Dumbledore. I told you why as well, that he didn't think I was safe on my own and that he assigned me a protector. You know that. What you don't know is that something happened with him. I made a mistake, and I slept with him. I couldn't tell you before, partly out of guilt, partly because I wanted to forget it had happened, because he hates me now. But that's not right, you deserve to know. Because, Owen, you're a good guy, and I don't deserve you. I've hurt you. I'm too dark and twisty and messed up. And I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. I should have told you before. Actually, I shouldn't have done it in the first place. I was a stupid Gryffindor idiot, and I didn't think about what I was doing. You're much better off without me, anyway. You deserve someone who loves you, that won't hurt you, and that can't be me."

JJ looked up at him. He was staring at her in shock, his blue-green eyes full of emotion. Hurt, betrayal, disbelief. He had trusted her, and she had broken that. Betrayed him. Hurt him. She looked away before she started crying.

It was a few minutes before he spoke. "Who?" he asked.

Sighing, she told him. "Professor Snape."

"Snape? You cheated on me, with _Snape?" _

"Yes, I did."

"Why? I mean, was it because of him, or because of me?"

That caught her off guard. Damned Ravenclaw logic. "Him," JJ told him. "I never wanted to do anything to hurt you, it definately wasn't because of you."

"Him. Do you love him?"

"Owen I -"

"Just answer me JJ," Owen interrupted. "Because if you do, that makes this easier to deal with."

_Oh Owen, _she thought. _Don't do this to me_. He wasn't angry. He had every right to be angry, but he wasn't. His voice held only hurt.

"Yeah, I think I do."

Owen stood up. "Well then," he said quietly. "I guess that's all there is to say."

"Owen, I mean it, I'm sorry." JJ's voice cracked.

He just shook his head, and went to leave. As he reached for the door handle, he turned back and said one last thing to her, leaving her with no doubt as to where they stood now.

"Have a nice life, JJ."


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Not a whole lot going on in this chapter really, other than JJ being yet stupider, and also getting her guitar back out. Thank you to all my readers, especially those of you who have sent me some lovely reviews over the past few months, and don't forget to read The Blossoming Rose In Her Sweetest Dream, by xVer.**

**xxxxx**

JJ felt better over the next few days after confessing to Owen. It was like she was in the pale light of dawn after a storm, she felt washed out and empty. But it wasn't as bad as being angry and stressed. She felt a lot calmer and more peaceful, which was nice, but still the nightmares wouldn't go away. She spent most of her time at night awake, getting ahead on homework or sometimes just watching the stars out the window, like she had when she was eleven. All in all, she was coping, and had managed to refrain from hitting anymore walls.

Her second Potions assessment came in the first week of October, on a Tuesday. As a rule, JJ liked Tuesdays, seen as she had double Defence Against The Dark Arts with this year's teacher, Professor Daley. He was one of the better ones, trained as an Auror and at Hogwarts for the year as a favour to Professor Dumbledore. When she had told Adam and Owen this, they had asked how she knew, and she had to make up an excuse fairly quickly, seen as it had been Severus who had told her. He was actually being rather civil to her recently, and when she arrived at his office he had given her instructions to make the potion on the desk, and then left.

Now however, JJ had run into a slight problem. The potion she was brewing was quite easy, and the instructions he had left were fairly straightforward, but JJ had always been taught to trust her instinct when it came to potion making, and right now her instinct was telling her that this method wasn't the most effective, and another, alternative method she had read somewhere would yield better results. She considered it for a minute. On one hand, Snape would probably kill her for not following his instructions. On the other hand, if she pulled this off the potion would be better. She quickly decided to go with her own gut feeling, and started ignoring the instructions set by her professor. She may seriously regret this, but to hell with it.

JJ had just finished when Professor Snape returned. He held out his hand for the flask she had just filled with her potion, and stood silently as he examined it. A mixture of shock and anger crossed his stony features briefly, before settling on just anger as he looked at her.

"Miss Carter, what did you do?" he demanded.

"Uh, well sir, I reckoned that if I changed around some of the quantities of ingrediants and stirred it a bit differently, it would turn out better." JJ explained sheepishly.

His eyes narrowed as he glared at her. "And tell me, Miss Carter, had you ever tested this alternative method of yours?"

"No sir," she admitted.

"So you had no way of knowing that your little experiment wasn't going to blow up?"

"No sir."

"Ten points from Gryffindor for recklessness, Miss Carter, now go."

JJ nodded and left quickly, relieved to be still alive.

* * *

><p>Somewhere along the corridor on the seventh floor was a door that led to an old and rickety staircase. Climbing these stairs now, with her wand lit in front of her, JJ felt around above her head for the trap door. There, she found the catch and opened it, setting her guitar up ahead of her, she clambered out and looked around. It was a beautiful, clear night and the stars shone brightly down on her where she stood on the Hogwarts roof. Pulling her Beatles jacket tighter around her, she went over to sit leaning against the place where the upper part of Gryffindor Tower jutted out from the main castle roof. Smiling slightly, she flexed her fingers and settled her guitar more comfortably in her lap. Looking up at the night sky, she chose what was probably her father's favourite song in either the Muggle or the Wizarding world. Technically, it was a Christmas song, but she didn't care as she began to play.<p>

_"A spaceman came travelling on his ship from afar,_

_'Twas light years of time since his mission did start,_

_And over a village he halted his craft,_

_And it hung in the sky like a star, just like a star..._

_He followed a light and came down to a shed,_

_Where a mother and child were lying there on a bed,_

_A bright light of silver shone round his head,_

_And he had the face of an angel, and they were afraid..._

_Then the stranger spoke, he said "Do not fear,_

_I come from a planet a long way from here,_

_And I bring a message for mankind to hear,"_

_And suddenly the sweetest music filled the air..._

_And it went Na Na..._

_Peace and goodwill to all men, and love for the child..._

_This lovely music went trembling through the ground,_

_And many were wakened on hearing that sound,_

_And travellers on the road, the village they found,_

_By the light of that ship in the sky, which shone all round..._

_And just before dawn at the paling of the sky,_

_The stranger returned and said "Now I must fly,_

_When two thousand years of your time has gone by,_

_This song will begin once again, though a blazing sky..."_

_And it went Na Na ... This song will begin once again_

_To a baby's cry..._

_And it goes Na Na... Peace and goodwill to all men, and_

_Love for the child..._

_Oh the whole world is waiting, waiting to hear the song again,_

_There are thousands standing on the edge of the world,_

_And a star is moving somewhere, the time is nearly here,_

_This song will begin once again, through a blazing sky... "_

JJ smiled to herself as she finished, completely oblivious to the man listening from the shadows below the roof.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Long and important chapter here :3 not much to be said, except I hope you like it!**

**xxxxx**

That Saturday afternoon, JJ was sitting in the common room, playing chess with Charlie. She had always loved the common room, the warm, circular room decorated in red and gold felt like a safe place for her, and even though she had her own rooms, she still spent a lot of time there. Besides, it was a good way to keep an eye on Gryffindor Tower. She had been right at the start of the year, the first years were a right bunch of messers, and the Weasley Twins were loving encouraging all the pranks and jokes.

She was just about to have her King taken by Charlie when Josh Dodds, Katie's little first-year friend came up to her.

"Checkmate, you lose," Charlie told her.

"Bugger. Hey Josh," she smiled at him. "What's up?"

"I was asked to give you this," Josh told her, holding out a roll of parchment to her.

She took it. "Thanks Josh." He smiled and left to join his friends over by the fireplace. Unrolling the parchment, JJ looked at the unfamiliar, slanted writing.

_Miss Carter,_

_Join me in my office immediately._

_- Professor Dumbledore._

"What's that?" Charlie asked.

"I've to go see the Headmaster," JJ told him.

"Why?"

"Well I dunno, do I? See you later."

"Bye."

* * *

><p>JJ knocked on the door of Professor Dumbledore's office, still with no idea why she was there. The only thing she could think of was that he might have found out about her going to the roof at night, but somehow she doubted it. Walking in the door as he replied, she saw her Headmaster, seated behing his big wooden desk, blue eyes twinkling.<p>

"Good afternoon, Miss Carter," he greeted.

"Headmaster," she nodded. "You wanted to see me?"

"Yes. You are aware of Professor Snape's project in relation to a type of poison in America?"

JJ groaned inwardly. "Yes sir."

"He requires assistance with some of the potions he must brew, and you are the only one who's help he will accept."

She stared at him. "Professor Snape wants me to help him?" she asked, disbelieving.

"Not exactly. Professor Snape doesn't want anyone to help him, but he will accept your assistance," Dumbledore explained. "He is in his lab."

"Ok," she sighed. Getting up to leave, she silently prayed that Snape wasn't going to kill her. From Professor Dumbledore's account, he sounded as if he was in a bad mood.

* * *

><p>"Professor Snape?" JJ called, looking around the empty office.<p>

"In here," came his reply from the door on her left, slightly muffled by the thick wood.

She pushed open the door and couldn't help gaping at the room inside. It was similar to her lab at home, with a high ceiling and shelves along the walls, but somehow it seemed so much more complex. The gleaming worktops were some sort of metal, nothing like the student workbenches, and everything was so much more organized and tidy. This was a Potion Master's lab, with cauldrons of every size, shape and material JJ could think of, and even some she couldn't. This was where Professor Snape worked.

The Master himself was working at a counter in the middle of the cavernous room, seemingly absorbed in his work. He was dressed only in his slacks and white shirt with the sleeves rolled up, exposing his Dark Mark. He clearly had far more important things than that to worry about though, if the piles of notes and ingrediants around him was anything to go by.

"Over there, Miss Carter, you will find a page of instructions," he informed her, gesturing to the bench beside him, not looking up. "I expect you to follow them to the letter, if you have any questions you ask me, and do not, under any circumstances, deviate from my orders. Is that understood?"

"Yes sir," she told him. She had no desire to get in even more trouble with Professor Snape.

"You showed this week that you have good instincts, but you need to learn to control them. Now isn't the time for that." JJ stared at him, but he went back to his work. _Jeez Professor, _she thought. _That almost sounded positive._

It didn't take long for JJ to realise that this was one of the most complicated potions she had ever attempted. It had several different methods and processes to follow all at once, and the first half hour she spent on it was solely focused on it and nothing else, giving her no chance to think at all. After that though, it consisted of mainly watching the cauldron, occasionally adding the odd ingrediant or stirring. Looking at Snape, JJ took a deep breath, trying to find all of her Gryffindor courage.

"I broke up with Owen," she told him quietly. He didn't look up, but her words made him freeze, before he spoke.

"And you feel the need to inform me why?" he asked, his tone icy and formal.

"Thought you should know, is all. I...I told him what happened."

At this, Snape did look up. "And did you think that telling me this would achieve something?"

JJ sighed. "I'm not that stupid. I don't expect you to do anything, or say anything. I definately don't expect you to forgive me. But I do want you to know that I'm sorry. I hurt you, and I hurt him, and I was an arrogant fool to think I ever had a choice, 'cos truth is, I don't deserve you."

He looked at her, his expression unreadable. "You don't understand," he stated. "It's far more complicated than that. This was never about you and Mr. Kenny. Not entirely, though that was a part of it."

"What?" JJ was confused now.

"I saw you with him, the night of the Feast. I saw you with him, and I realised that you _should_ be with him. Not with me." He sighed. "I am not a good man, JJ. I'm a Death Eater. I have done some truly despicable things. I have killed. I have tortured people. And on top of that, I am your professor. I'm too old for you, too broken."

She was shocked. Things like that hadn't even crossed her mind. But he wasn't finished.

"I took advantage of you. Your emotions were everywhere, thanks to that potion. I should have been the responsible adult, and pushed you away, but I didn't. I handled it badly, that first day back. I was too harsh, and too cold. I hurt you too."

Suddenly, JJ had a thought. "You said we'd talk, that night, you said we'd talk the next day. But we didn't, you had to go."

He nodded slowly. "I remember."

Moving to sit on the bench, facing him, she tilted her head slightly. "I asked you why. If you cared about the student-teacher thing, then why. You never answered."

"No, I didn't," he admitted. "In truth, I did not know the answer."

"And now?"

He looked at her for a long moment, before saying: "That potion is almost complete. You may go."

Knowing better than to push it, she left him, her head still reeling.

* * *

><p>That night, JJ was on patrol. The castle was mostly quiet, with almost all the students in their common rooms and dorms, but there was the odd few students still wandering around, and there were some professors patrolling the hallways too. JJ wasn't really paying much attention to where she was going, still thinking about that afternoon, when she collided with what appeared to be a wall of black fabric.<p>

"Sorry," she mumbled, before recognizing who she had just walked into. "Professor Snape!"

"Miss Carter," he said, stepping aside to let her pass. JJ walked a few steps down the corridor, before turning around to face him again.

"What if I did?"

He looked at her questioningly. "Excuse me?"

"What if I knew the answer?"

He still looked confused. "What if," she continued, "I knew how I felt? What if I told you I didn't care about all those things?"

The expression in his eyes was as unreadable as always, but JJ thought she detected a hint of surprise there. But then, before she even had time to think about it, her back hit the wall, and his lips were on hers. One of his arms was around her, the other braced against the stone behind her head. A small part of JJ's brain was screaming at her that they were in the middle of a corridor, before Severus caused even that part to cease functioning as he kissed her.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: This chapter took forever, but it was actually one of my favourites that I've written so far, so, I hope you all like it**

**xxxx**

JJ woke up slowly. It took her a few moments to remember where she was. The light behind her closed eyelids was different, and there was the sound of running water somewhere nearby. Opening her eyes, she smiled as the memories of the previous night flooded back to her. She could hear Severus moving around the bathroom, and sat up. His rooms were in the dungeons near his lab and office. His bedroom was decorated in a mix of black carpet and Slytherin green wall hangings, and most of the furniture seemed to be wooden, like everywhere else in the castle.

Dragging herself out of bed, JJ pulled on the first thing she could find, which turned out to be Severus' shirt. Yawning, she ventured out into his sitting room. The floors in here were stone, but there was a soft black rug in front of the fireplace. The walls were like those in her own bedroom, lined with shelf upon shelf of books. There was a wide range of titles, advanced Potions books, books on Defence Against the Dark Arts, Herbology, and even some Muggle titles. JJ spotted a battered-looking copy of 'Great Expectations', and another of 'Romeo and Juliet'. Dickens and Shakespeare, that was interesting.

She stood there admiring his collection for a few minutes, before she felt Severus come up behind her. She smiled as he slid his arms around her waist.

"That's my shirt," he murmured in her ear, his deep voice making her shiver slightly.

"I know," she turned to face him. "Severus, this is against the rules, isn't it?"

He sighed. "I would presume so. I don't make a habit of sleeping with students, however, so I am not entirely sure."

She faked an innocent look. "But I thought you knew everything, Professor."

He chuckled, before his expression turned serious again. "I mean it JJ, this is a first for me."

She smiled, reaching her arms around his neck as she leaned up to kiss him, a slow, gentle kiss. "I know," she whispered to him.

As she kissed him again, there was a flash of green on the other side of the room. Severus broke away from her and spun around as the flames in the grate receeded and Professor Dumbledore stepped out. There was a moment of strained silence as the older wizard took in the scene in front of him. JJ could see the tension in Severus' shoulders as he stood defensively in front of her. After a moment, Dumbledore sighed.

"Miss Carter, my office immediately. Severus, I will speak with you later."

* * *

><p>"Well Miss Carter," said Dumbledore. "Would you care to explain?"<p>

The pair were sitting in his office, JJ now fully dressed. There was a look of almost regret in the Headmaster's eyes as he spoke, the usual twinkle missing from their blue depths. She sighed.

"Don't really see what needs explaining, sir," she told him. "It was exactly how it looked."

"So you aren't denying that you spent the night with Professor Snape last night?" Dumbledore asked.

"No."

There was a long pause as Dumbledore thought about that. "What I fail to understand, Miss Carter," he began carefully. "Is why exactly that the best student in Gryffindor House, a student with a flawless record and immaculate reputation, and Head Girl at that, would see fit to partake in such defiant and immoral behavior. You are a clever girl, surely you must have realised what consequences that these actions could have. So I ask you now, Miss Carter, why would you do something like this?"

Taking a deep breath, JJ decided to just tell him the truth. Looking the Headmaster straight in the eye, she told him. "Because it's him. 'Cos it doesn't matter that he's a professor and all, 'cos to me it's just 'cos he's him."

Dumbledore regarded her over the tops of his glasses for a long moment, an unreadable expression in his eyes, before nodding. "Very well, Miss Carter, you may go. I shall speak with you again later."

* * *

><p>Outside the office, Severus was pacing. He was dressed in his full teaching robes, and his black cloak billowed behind him as he walked. He truly was an intimidating sight. Upon seeing her, he stopped and looked at her questioningly. She shrugged, letting him know that she still had no idea what Dumbledore would do. He sighed, and resumed pacing up and down the corridor.<p>

"Severus," she said softly. "I'm sure it'll be all right."

He shook his head. "Bloody Gryffindors," he muttered. "Always have to be optimistic, don't you?"

"Well if we were all as pessimistic as you, the world wouldn't be able to cope," she teased. "Listen, I'd better go. Meet me on the roof at midnight."

He nodded and she smiled. "See you later then."

* * *

><p>It was another clear night, and all the stars were shining brightly above her as JJ stepped out onto the roof. Severus was pacing again, his black-clad form tense. She went to stand over by the tower wall and watched him. After a while, he stopped, and turned to her.<p>

"JJ," he began. "Do you want this? Do you want there to be an 'us'?"

"Do you?" she asked.

There was fire in his black eyes as her walked over to where she stood. "Yes," he told her quietly. "I am sorry for how I acted before. I was wrong."

"What do you mean?" JJ asked, looking up at him. He was an awful lot taller than she was.

"That night in the hospital wing. I called you dangerous. I didn't mean it, I just..." he faltered slightly, looking away from her, out into the night. "I was scared," he continued quietly. "Isaac came to me and told me he had found you, and I was worried. The look in your eyes that night terrified me. It was blank. You looked like you'd given up. I feared that you would do something stupid, and hurt yourself again. I didn't like how you still seemed to have such a control over my emotions, even after I'd tried to push you away. That is why I said what I did. I was afraid."

JJ stared at him in shock. He still wasn't looking at her, but there was a hint of nervousness in his expression that made her think that he probably hadn't intended to tell her all of that. Swallowing, she asked "And now?"

He looked back at her again. "I'm coming to think that it might not be so much of a bad thing, but to be honest, I'm still terrified."

"Me too," she admitted, and saw him relax. "So," she continued conversationally. "I guess there is an 'us' now."

He smiled slightly. "I suppose there is."


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Hey everyone, sorry this took so long, but it's done now. Mostly talking in this chapter, I promise more stuff will happen soon. Enjoy :)**

**xxxxx**

"J! There you are!"

JJ looked up from the essay she was writing to see Katie standing in front of the library table she was sitting at, a rather dissaproving look on her face.

"Here I am," JJ agreed, going back to her work.

"What are you doing?" Katie asked, sitting down across from her. "It's only eight in the morning."

"Potions essay," JJ told her. "Marshmallow?" she offered, holding out the bag.

"No thanks. Why didn't you do it over the weekend?"

"Ah," said JJ, popping a marshmallow into her mouth. "I was a tad busy."

"Well Snape's going to kill you if you don't have it," Katie sighed. "Where've you been at? I've barely seen you in a week."

"I've been acting like a complete anti-social hermit that is completely incapable of making the right decisions and lives by a very twisted set of morals," she answered, looking up thoughtfully. "Or maybe no morals at all. Yeah, that's it. Amoral."

Katie smacked her on the head with a book. "Snap out of the riddles."

"Sorry. Anyway, I have news."

"Good news or bad news?"

"Neutral news. I told Owen. We're done, but he took it ok." JJ took another marshmallow from the bag.

Katie looked thoughtful for a minute. "And are you?" she asked finally.

"About that. I'm fine, but I've something else to tell you," she began sheepishly.

"Oh dear. What have you done now?"

"Well see the other day I was asked to help Professor Snape with some potions, and we talked a bit, and he said some stuff, and then he told me to go, so I did. But that night I walked into him on patrol, and..." she trailed off, slightly nervous of the exasperated look in Katie's eyes.

"You slept with him again, didn't you? Once is immoral, twice is just plain stupid."

JJ avoided her eyes and started writing again. Katie was quiet for a while, and the only sound was the scratching of JJ's quill.

After a while, Katie broke the silence with an unexpected question. "What was it like?"

JJ stared at her. "What?"

"You know," Katie blushed a bit. "What was it _like_?"

"Well," said JJ, setting down her quill and resting her head on her hands. "The first time was fairly scary really, first times and all, y'know? But the other night..." She trailed off, smiling slightly to herself. "It was every stupid cliché you've ever heard," she told Katie, snapping out of her thoughts to focus on the conversation.

Katie sighed. "I hope you know what you're getting yourself in for. This has to be against the rules."

"Professor Dumbledore seems to think so."

"He _what?"_

* * *

><p>It had taken a while to calm Katie down after the news that her best friend could possibly be expelled in the next few days, but JJ had managed eventually. The pair were now standing outside the Potions classroom, waiting for Professor Snape to arrive. Adam came over to them where they stood by the wall, and JJ thought she saw Isaac glaring at him out of the corner of her eye. Odd, she thought.<p>

"Hey Katie," said Adam quietly. "JJ."

"Hey Adam," said Katie, and JJ nodded to him. The pair were looking at each other a little nervously, and JJ thought it rather strange.

"What's up with you two?" she whispered in Katie's ear.

"We're um... Going to the Yule Ball together," Katie whispered back. "He asked and I said yes 'cus I thought you'd be going with Owen, and we could go, like the four of us."

"Well I can more or less guarentee that I ain't going with Owen," JJ told her as their professor arrived, giving Katie no chance to respond.

* * *

><p>That class proved to be quite interesting, all in all. JJ hadn't been sure how Severus would act, but while he proved to be just his usual self, there was a certain light in his eyes when he pulled her up on being distracted and nearly adding the wrong ingrediant to her potion.<p>

"Sorry Professor," she tried not to smile, ignoring the dissaproving look from Katie.

She tried to focus on what she was doing, but when Severus stood behind her to observe her potion she very nearly dropped in too many beetle eyes.

"Well Miss Carter," he drawled, catching her wrist. "You do seem distracted today."

"I can't imagine why, Professor," she murmered, quiet enought that only he could hear her.

She couldn't see his expression because he was stood behind her, but she felt him chuckle slightly. "Try not to blow up the lab," he whispered as he moved away to look in Katie's cauldron.

JJ hung back as the rest of the class left the room. Severus was standing at the blackboard with his back to her, writing out instructions.

"If I had blown something up, it'd have been your fault," she told him.

"You know, for someone so good at potions making, you are remarkably clumsy sometimes," he told her.

She smiled. "Any word from the Headmaster?"

"None yet. If he was going to throw either of us out of the castle, he would have done so by now," Severus said, turning around.

"Do you think he'll tell the other professors?"

"If he does, I want to be very far away when McGonagall finds out."

"Why," JJ asked.

"Because," he explained. "She is Head of Gryffindor, and you are one of her precious cubs. She will not take kindly to a Slytherin corrupting one of her best students."

"That's probably true," JJ admitted. She picked up her bag. "Anyway, I have to go, so you'll have to put off corrupting me until later."

JJ smiled as she heard his quiet laughter follow her as she left.


	19. Chapter 19

**This one was done quicker that I expected, but it is a little short. Don't forget to read 'The Blossoming Rose in Her Sweetest Dream' by xVer.**

**xxxxx**

It was the next afternoon when the pair were finally called back to the Headmaster's office. JJ was trying very hard to stay calm and controlled and not start shaking as she took the seat in front of Dumbledore's desk. Severus ignored the older wizard's offer to sit down, and instead stood by the window, looking out at the grounds. His face was it's usual expressionless mask; the only sign that he was also feeling the tension in the air was the whiteness of his knuckles where he gripped the windowsill.

"My apologies for the delay in these proceedings," Professor Dumbledore began. "The Hogwarts rulebook offers no guidance as to the legality of teacher-student relationships, merely stating that the decisions rest with the current Headmaster or Headmistress."

JJ nodded, wishing that Dumbledore would just get on with it. Her hands were starting to tremble now, and she looked over at Severus. He stood as though he was made of stone, barely moving a muscle.

"There are many factors that had to be considered," the Headmaster went on. "Such as both your records, and also the fact that you, Miss Carter, are of age. I also had to consider whether the two of you being romantically involved would have a detrimental effect on the students in general and Miss Carter in particular. I must ask the two of you to contemplate whether you would be able to keep your professional lives seperate and mantain a proper working relationship, especially if you are to work together as apprentice and Master. Do you believe that this would be possible for you?"

JJ looked at Severus, who finally turned around to look back at her. He was silent for a moment longer, his intense eyes strangely thoughful, before looking back out the window. "Yes," he said quietly. "I believe we could."

"And you, Miss Carter?" Dumbledore asked.

"Yes," JJ said, accepting the fact that she would probably have said yes to anything that meant she could be with Severus. It was rather pathetic really.

"Very well then," said the Headmaster, his blue eyes twinkling again. "In that case I believe that as long as you do not do anything to raise any suspicion among the students, I see no reason to prevent you seeing each other."

JJ looked up at Severus, unable to stop the smile that came from hearing the older professor's words. Severus remain mostly impassive, but there was a warmth in his eyes that told her that he was just as happy as she was. "Thank you, Headmaster," she said quietly.

Dumbledore nodded. "Severus, could you leave Miss Carter and I alone for a moment?"

Severus glanced at her and she nodded. "Very well," he said, and left the room. Dumbledore waited for the click of the door as it shut behind him before turning to her once more. "I hope you understand that I am being very lenient with you, Miss Carter," he said, his tone serious.

"Yes sir."

"And do you understand why?"

"No sir," she told him honestly. No other professor would have even given them the chance to explain themselves. She really had no idea what the Headmaster had been thinking.

"Severus is a very reclusive person," Dumbledore explained. "He has severe trust issues and also finds it difficult to open up to people. He needs someone to be there for him, someone that cares about him. This could be good for him, having someone in his life."

"I see, sir." And she did. She knew how antisocial Severus tended to be, and she also knew that his cold, emotionless demenour was largely an act.

"Good," said Dumbledore. "You may go now, Miss Carter. And remember, be careful. If you are caught again I may not be able to be so permitting."

"I know sir, thanks."

* * *

><p>That evening, JJ was still thinking about the Headmaster's words as she attempted to get some homework done. She quite liked the thought that she could be there for Severus. She was sure by now that she really did love him. It was funny really; if anyone had told her a year ago that she would fall for Severus Snape she would have told them to go see Madam Pomfrey to have their head checked out.<p>

But now, she realised that she had never really known her professor at all. She had never thought that beneath the black cape that was his armour was a just a normal man; never would have been able to comprehend that those cold, black eyes could hold such warmth, or that his deep voice could sound so gentle. But now she knew better. Smiling to herself, she put down her quill and went to find the Potions Master.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Another chapter here, rather short, but I had to split it because it would have been far too long otherwise.**

**xxxxx**

The rest of October passed rather uneventfully, and JJ managed eventually to concentrate during Potions class. Her third assessment came on a Friday in early November, the night before the first Quidditch match of the season. Charlie hadn't been at all pleased when she'd told him she couldn't make extra training, and had called Severus some really awful names that she was certain should never be repeated to him. JJ had eventually had to yell at him to remind him that she had been a Keeper for the past four years, and to concentrate on the new players and get off her back.

Severus set her Forgetfulness Potion, a rather difficult one, and she settled down to work as he marked papers at his desk. "So," she said after a while. "Are your Slytherins ready to be beaten tomorrow?"

He smiled, but didn't look up from his desk. "Gryffindor arrogance," he drawled. "You're no match for my Slytherins."

"We'll see," she laughed. "Charlie's had us working like house elves, you should have heard what he called you when he found out I'd be here."

"I can imagine," Severus answered. "Mr. Wealsey is not my biggest fan, I've noticed."

"Well you are a git to him," JJ pointed out. "Actually, you're like that with most Gryffindors. Why is that?"

"Because I am a Slytherin, and Gryffindors irritate me," he said bluntly. JJ rolled her eyes, but didn't say anything else.

After a while, she had another question. "Severus?" she asked.

"Mmm?" he replied absently, his brow furrowed in thought as he looked down at the sheets in his hands.

"You know that whole 'don't blow up the lab thing?" she asked.

"Yes?"

"Well, if I added an extra drop of Lethe River water, and only half the mistletoe berries, and then a drop of salamander blood, would it explode?"

Severus steepled his fingers and looked at her. "And why," he asked slowly, "would you wish to do that?"

"I reckon it'd turn out better," she told him.

"None of the ingrediants are particularily unstable, so go ahead and try it. If it doesn't work, however, I will have to fail you."

"But of course," JJ nodded, and set to work changing the potion.

After another few minutes, JJ spoke again. "Severus?"

"Yes?" he replied, trying to sound irritated but not quite able to hide the hint of amusement in his voice.

"It's purple," she informed him. "This book says it should be blue. But it's purple."

He got up and came around to look. "You're stirring it wrong," he told her. "Most potions you stir normally, but with this one you have to keep the rod straight, and move the whole thing in circles, like this." He guided her hand and showed her how to stir it properly. Sure enough, after a few stirs the potion bubbled and began to turn blue.

"There," he said.

"Thanks," she smiled at him, filled a flask with the potion and cast a stasis charm on it. "Done."

"It looks good," he observed. "And it didn't blow up."

"No, it didn't," she agreed. "I'd better go."

"You don't have to," Severus said quietly.

"No," she agreed, equally quietly. "I guess I don't"

* * *

><p>It was early the next morning when JJ woke up. She was wondering, not for the first time, how light got into the dungeons when she realised that Severus was still asleep. She could hear the sound of his heavy breathing where she lay snuggled against his chest. It was the first time she had ever seen him sleeping. He looked peaceful and relaxed, and also quite vunerable. It was easy to remember that he was only a young man; a lot of the harshness of his features ebbed away in sleep. Smiling to herself, she wondered how many people he had trusted enough to let them see him sleeping. She doubted it was very many.<p>

She also wondered how many people had seen him without his robes, without the trademark cape. He was quite thin, but had a layer of muscle that she guessed was hard-earned through the years. He had scars too, lots of them. Most looked to be battle scars, but there was some odd marks on his shoulders that could have been knives, and several that looked like animal bites. Being a spy can't have been easy, and he bore the marks now. It saddened JJ to think that for every scar there had been enough pain to leave a mark after the wound had healed.

She lay there in his arms for another while before reluctantly deciding it was time to go. "Severus," she whispered. "I have to go."

"Don't," he mumbled sleepily, struggling to open his eyes. It was quite adorable to watch him trying to wake up, not that she'd ever tell him that.

"I have to," she told him gently as she began to get dressed. "Quidditch match, remember?"

"Mmm," he confirmed. Leaning over to kiss him, she whispered: "Bye."

"Good luck," he told her, finally managing to open an eye. "You'll need it."

"We'll see," she told him, slipping out the door.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: This chapter took a bit longer than I expected, but here it is. Just a note, the player Crabbe here is the older brother of Vincent Crabbe and an utter figment of my imagination, as is Danny. All other new characters are not mine. Enjoy~**

**xxx**

It was a clear, crisp morning, perfect conditions for flying. The air was cool, but not too cold, and the sun was high in the sky. JJ smiled as she trudged across the grounds to the Quidditch pitch, nearly two hours before the game was due to start. Charlie had asked them all to be early; he wanted to do some warm-ups and last minute talks and all that stuff that captains tended to stress about.

Inside their changing room, JJ found four exceptionally nervous second-years, and Charlie, who seemed to be more nervous than the rest of the team put together. He was pacing up and down the length of the room. He looked up as she entered. "Good. We're all here. So um.. What was I saying?"

"He's been like this all morning," said Danny Cuffe, fellow seventh-year and Chaser on the team as she sat down next to him. "He's going to wear a hole in the floor soon."

Danny's father was Barnabas Cuffe, editor of the Daily Prophet. He was an excellent Chaser, and had been on the team since his second year. He was a nice guy, always up for a laugh, and very relaxed when it came to Quidditch matches.

Charlie eventually found his stride, and started talking all about Chaser strategies and game plays and a lot of other technical and confusing things, often contradicting himself. It took JJ a while to figure out what was making him so nervous. Charlie was an outstanding Seeker, the best in the school, and they had a good team. But then she realised that that wasn't what was bothering him. It was the fact that he was captain, he was in charge. If they lost it'd be all on him, and he was nervous as hell about it.

Eventually they had managed to get Charlie relaxed and his usual confident self., though it'd taken a while. The team lined up by the entrance to the pitch, and JJ could hear the commentator talking to the crowd about the teams, statistics and players. She smiled a bit as she realised that it was another seventh-year, Nymphadora Tonks speaking. Tonks was a great friend of everyone she met, and JJ liked the Hufflepuff a lot. She was also the only person JJ knew that managed to be more clumsy than her.

"Hey Charlie," she heard Danny whisper, evidentially having spotted Tonks himself. "Look who it is."

Charlie flushed, but said nothing. Danny grinned at JJ. It was no secret that Charlie had a crush on Tonks, but had never managed to work up the nerve to ask her out. They all turned back towards the pitch as the Slytherin team came flying out to deafening cheers from the sea of green clad students that, while quite large, was nothing compared to the people in red.

"Here come the Slytherins," Tonks was saying. "Bletchley, Marwood, Crabbe, Montague, Pucey, Flint and Higgs!" The team did a lap of the stands before touching down beside Madam Hooch.

"And now the Gryffindors," Tonks called. "Carter, Weasley, Weasley, Johnson, Cuffe, Spinnet and Weasley!" JJ took off and soared into the sky. The stands were full of supporters in red and gold; most of the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw students were rooting for them, for the sole reason that they wanted to see Slytherin lose. Touching down again, she watched Charlie shaking hands with Crabbe, the Slytherin captain and Marwood's fellow Beater. Crabbe was a formiddable opponent, six foot tall and as wide as a house.

Settling by the goal hoops when they took of into the sky again, JJ pulled her red robes with the number 1 on the back tighter around her. The air at this height was cold, with it being November. She looked over to the professors' stands and saw Severus watching her. She grinned openly at him, knowing that no one would notice. He was too far away for her to read his expression properly as he turned back to the game.

"Cuffe has the Quaffle," Tonks was saying. "He passes to Johnson, back to Cuffe, he dodges a Bludger from Marwood, but he's dropped the Quaffle! Flint has the Quaffle, he passes to Montague, back to Flint, he dodges a bludger from Fred Weasley, or is it George?"

JJ got ready as Flint streaked up the pitch towards her. He faked to the left before shooting to the right, a play she had seen many times from him and was prepared for. Diving to the right, she grabbed the Quaffle close to her chest and grinned as the Gryffindor's cheered. "Carter saves it!" cried Tonks.

Over the next few minutes, Gryffindor scored three times and JJ saved another shot from Pucey. She noticed a look pass between Isaac and Crabbe but thought nothing of it as she was too busy watching Flint come her way with the Quaffle, which she just barely managed to tip away from the goal hoops before having to roll over to avoid a Bludger from Crabbe. Luckily Danny caught it and sped off down the other end of the pitch.

The Slytherins were playing dirty; that became evident fairly quickly. The Weasley twins were having a tough time coping with their opposing Beaters, who were 5 years older and not trying to be careful. Charlie was trying desperatly to find the Snitch before Higgs, but it was nowhere to be seen. Montague was came at her again, and Crabbe knocked a Bludger towards her that Fred deflected.

"Thanks mate," she told him.

Suddenly, she noticed Marwood smack another of the heavy leather balls at her, but it was too late. Before she really understood what had happened, the Bludger hit her, and something cracked. She lost her grip on her broom handle, and fell toward the ground. The fifty-foot fall seemed to go in slow motion, before she hit the ground with a sickening thud and the world went dark.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: I am so, so sorry that this chapter took so long, but school has been completely crazy latley so I've had no time to write anything other than homework. This chapter is basically one big conversation, not a lot really happens but there's some interesting things revealed (at least I hope they're interesting) So yeah, hope you like it**

**xxxxxxx**

JJ hurt everywhere. Pain seared through what felt like every nerve in her body; pain that consumed every other sense and made it impossible to think. In that moment of sheer blinding agony, there was no sense of time, and she had no idea how long she had been unconcious. All she knew was that she didn't want to wake up if it was going to hurt this much. After what could have been anything from a few seconds to a number of minutes, the pain settled and she became aware that she was lying in a bed in the hospital wing.

Opening her eyes, JJ noticed that her head hurt quite badly, and she felt stabs of pain in her chest when she tried to breathe. Her left arm seemed to have also been broken, but that was ok, seen as she was right handed. It was night time, and the lights were dimmed in the infirmary. While she was staring at the roof, trying to figure out why it looked to be blurred, she noticed she wasn't alone. Severus was watching her over the top of a book that looked to be written in a language she didn't understand. He looked to have been there a while, which made JJ smile. Stubborn, protective idiot that he was, Severus had probably intended to stay up all night.

"Hi," she said, noticing her voice came out weaker than usual, and it was harder to breathe properly.

"How are you feeling?" he asked softly.

"Sore," she answered. "I feel like I was hit by a train."

"Falling fifty feet does that to you, I presume," he told her. "You were very seriously hurt. Fractured skull, shattered ribs, punctured lung. The list goes on." He sounded exasperated, and also slightly worried.

"Wow, that does not sound fun. Then again, it can't say it is, given my current position," she joked.

Severus smiled. "Is there anything the Irish can't laugh at?" he asked teasingly.

"Nope," she answered, smiling as well now. She tried to sit up slowly. "Oh Holy lamb of Divine Jesus, that hurts," she muttered, sinking back against the pillows.

"I didn't think you were religious," Severus commented.

"I'm not," she told him. "Most of your typical Irish cusses are though. Dad liked that particular one a lot." Suddenly a thought occurred to her. "Severus?"

"Yes?"

"Who won the match?"

Severus looked away, an uncomfortable expression on his face. "Gryffindor," he said finally. "One hundred and eighty to ten. Weasley managed to catch the Snitch on his way to where you fell."

"Told you we'd win," she said happily, laughing when he glared at her. "Stop looking so grumpy," she chided.

"You know, there are some students who believe that the end of the world will commence the very day I choose to cease being a grumpy git," he muttered, his expression unchanging.

JJ looked at him for a long moment. "Severus?" she asked in a softer voice. "Are you ok?"

He wouldn't meet her eyes, confirming her suspicion that something was wrong. "You scared me," he said finally in a quiet voice. "The fall was so sudden... Any muggle would have died, you were lucky as it was."

She reached out and took his hand, lacing her fingers through his. She could feel his tension and realised just how worried he had been. "I'm sorry Severus," she said gently. "I didn't think."

"Gryffindor's never do," he muttered, but she saw a teasing glint in his eyes, and he relaxed a little. "This reminds me of another night with a similar situation," he murmered, tracing her knuckles lightly.

"Don't remind me. Please. I said some pretty embarrassing stuff that night," she sighed.

"I remember. I seem to recall you _doing _some rather shocking things also."

"Ah stop, I don't know which one of us was more surprised!"

Severus was openly smiling. "I assure you, it was most definately me. I had been trying very hard for a rather long time to not think of you in that way, and you kissing me...Floored me, for want of a better word."

JJ stared at him in shock as his words registered. "How.." she swallowed and stared again. "How long?"

His expression turned guarded. "I honestly don't know," he said quietly. "When I started teaching you, you were clearly the best student I had ever taught. You had the understanding of Potions that most students, even the clever ones, lack. I had a lot of respect for your abilities, more than for any other student. Somewhere along the line that must have changed, though I didn't realise until after you lost your mother. Seeing you go through that much pain made me see how much I cared. I of course realised that it was completely inappropriate, so I hadn't intended to say anything, though I might have when you were older, I don't know."

She just looked at him, completely stunned. "I had no idea," she told him.

"Good," he muttered. "If the spy couldn't keep things hidden we'd all be doomed."

Just as she was about to ask him yet another question, there was a tap at the window. "It's your bloody bird," he exclaimed, opening the window to let the little owl in. Tybalt flew past him, hooting cheerfully, before landing lightly on JJ's outstretched arm.

"Hey Tybalt," she smiled at the bird. "What have you got?" Untying the letter from the owl's foot, she struggled to open it one handed, and needed Severus to help.

"Wait," she said, noticing it looked blurred. "Where are my glasses?"

Severus reached into his pocket and handed her the black frames. Thanking him, she looked back at the letter and saw that it was from Remus. It read:

_Dear JJ_

_Professor Dumbledore wrote to me about your accident. Obviously I want to come and see you, but with it being so close to the full moon I'm afraid I can't. I hope you're alright, make sure and write as soon as you can. I might be able to visit at Christmas. Sorry again for not writing sooner._

_Love Remus._

It was short, which made JJ worry that her cousin wasn't doing so well. It wasn't unusual for werewolves to feel ill before the full moon. The thing that bothered her most was the fact that last time she had heard from Remus, he had been in Norway. It took at least a full day's travel for an owl to get there, which meant she might have been out of it for longer than she had thought.

"Severus?"

"Yes?"

"What day is it?"

Severus cast a Tempus charm. "It's two o'clock on Tuesday morning."

"_Tuesday_? Why didn't you tell me?" she asked.

"You didn't ask."

_Bloody Slytherin, _she thought. "Wait," she said. "Please tell me you haven't been here for three days."

Severus sighed. "It's not like I sleep anyway," he said. "Besides, who would you have had to plague with questions if you had woken up alone?"

"Git," she muttered.

"Indeed. Here," he handed her a vial. "Take this."

"What is it?"

"Dreamless Sleep. You need to sleep for your body to heal properly, and you know there's no way you'll do that without it." He leaned over to kiss her lightly. "Goodnight."

She opened the vial and downed it's contents. "Night," she mumbled, letting the potion draw her back into unconciousness.


	23. Chapter 23

**Hi guys! This took longer than expected ( I really should stop setting expected finishing times in my head) but I really hope it's worth the wait. It's a long chapter, but it's probably my favourite I've ever written. I should mention that I did change my pename, from JJ407 to DeadToBeginWith. My first was only ever going to be temporary anyway. Oh, and my dear friend xVer had decided to discontinue (I love that word) The Blossoming Rose in her Sweetest Dream. Even still, the stuff she has up is well worth a look.**

**xxxx**

It was another three days before JJ was let out of the hospital wing. She still wasn't fully healed; the damage to her ribs had been extensive, and it had taken a lot of potions and spells to re-set the bones and fix her lung. Her left arm was still strapped up in bandages, and it would take time before it was fully functional again. Madam Pomfrey had been reluctant to let her out, but after a week of the sheer boredom of doing nothing, JJ had had enough. So it was with firm instructions to rest and refrain from magic as much as possible, and a threat that if she so much as went near a broom for the next two months she would be very sorry, that the matron finally let her go on Friday evening.

Classes had just ended as JJ made her way slowly towards the dungeons. There was a good few smiles and friendly waves from fellow Gryffindors that she passed on the corridors, and the usual feeling of relief and freedom that Friday usually brought was evident. Halfway down to the Potions classroom, she ran into Professor McGonagall.

"Good evening Miss Carter," said the Scottish witch, smiling. "I see you're back on your feet."

"Yeah Professor, Madam Pomfrey did another good job of patching me up," JJ answered jokingly. "She'd be used to it by now, amout of times it happens."

McGonagall shook her head. "Try not to let it happen again, JJ. We could all do without the scare. When are you to be to class?"

"I don't know yet," JJ told her truthfully. "Madam Pomfrey doesn't want me to do much magic for a while, so I may not be allowed do anything for another week."

"Well just try not to do yourself another injury between now and then ok?" JJ smiled; Severus had been right about how much the Head of Gryffindor cared for her students.

"Yes Professor."

* * *

><p>Severus wasn't in his office when JJ got there. The empty room had an eery air to it that made her shiver. The Potions Master still had quite a collection of unpleasent-looking slimy objects, which he had confessed were just there to freak out students, unlike his actual lab, which was all actual potions ingrediants. The door down to the lab was open, so JJ guessed that Severus would be down there.<p>

He was brewing, His back to her. Notes were scattered everywhere and there was what looked to be a melted cauldron in the corner. Severus himself was lost in his own thoughts, JJ thought she even heard him humming to himself. Smiling at the fact that he was completely oblivious to his surroundings - it wasn't often that anyone managed to sneak up on him - she crossed the room to slide her good arm around his waist.

He started. "For the love of Merlin, J! Are you trying to give me a heart attack? You're not supposed to be out of the Hospital Wing yet!"

Somewhat surprised by his usage of her shortened nickname, she rested her cheek against his back, not bothering to apologise. "Where is it?"

"Where is what?" he asked, turning around to look at her.

"My wand. I know you have it. You and Madam Pomfrey are conspiring against me or something, but she doesn't have my wand," JJ explained, poking him in the chest to emphasise her point.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he replied smoothly.

JJ was about to start giving out to him when another voice from the top of the stairs made her jump. "JJ Carter! I am going to kill you!"

Spinning around to look at her best friend, she grinned at Katie. "Hello to you too. Oh I'm fine, thanks for asking, how are you?"

Katie came down the stairs into the lab and handed Severus an envelope. "From the Headmaster, sir," she told him, turning back to JJ. "You weren't supposed to be out of the hospital wing yet! I went to see you and you weren't there!"

"For Christ's sake, did everyone know this but me?" JJ asked. "Do you have my wand?"

"What? No," Katie answered. "Why would I have it?"

"Because I'm not allowed to do magic, so someone has it."

Severus sighed theatrically, reaching a hand inside his robes he pulled out the long stick of wood and handed it to her. "Dogwood, twelve and three quarter inches, I would guess at a dragon heartstring core," he said.

"Yeah, it is," JJ said, surprised that he had guessed. "How'd you know?"

"Dragon heartstring wands are both quick learners and rather accident prone. Suits you. And dogwood, quirky and playful, only willing to perform serious magic when absolutely neccessary. Your wand couldn't be more fitting."

Katie poked her. "Sounds like you J," she said, smiling.

"It does too," said JJ, sitting up on the counter beside Severus. "You're English Oak and dragon, right?"

Her friend nodded. "Ollivander said that English oak wands were loyal, and their owners usually have an affinity with the natural world, plants and animals and stuff."

"What's yours?" JJ asked Severus, who was currently stirring something into the cauldron on the bench.

"Acacia and phoenix feather."

JJ laughed. "Typical you to have a real rare wood, isn't it? If I remember right, acacia is kind of stubborn, and mostly suits really clever wizards. And subtle magic, not the kind of loud, flashy stuff."

He nodded. "That's right." He picked up his wand from the bench and handed it to her. It felt strange, very different to her own wand. The magic was cooler, almost, more controlled and definately more subtle, but felt very, very powerful.

"Water," someone said, and it took JJ a moment to realise that the voice that spoke was her own. Severus was looking at her, seeming surprised. "What?" asked Katie.

"I have no idea," JJ answered, looking at Severus.

"J," he said slowly. "What do you know about Elemental magic?"

Blinking at him, JJ thought for a moment. "Not much," she concluded. "I read that there's a concept of every witch or wizard's magic being linked to one of the four elements, but not many people believe that do they?"

"No, not many do," he replied, "because most cannot detect it. But, it seems that you may be able to."

"So, you're linked with water?"

"Yes. Most Slytherins are believed to be, but there is exceptions." He turned to Katie. "Miss Rosier, may we try your wand?"

Katie handed her wand to JJ. It felt similar to Severus', cooler and calmer magic than she was used to. "Water," she confirmed, handing it back. "I still don't know how I know, but I just do."

She noticed that Severus was smiling slightly at her now, a new emotion in his eyes that she recognized as pride. "It's a very rare talent, to be able to detect the elements in magic, so there is not much information out there about it. It is believed that the most common element is earth. The best way I can describe it would be that all Hufflepuffs, a large amount of Gryffindors and roughly half of Ravenclaws are tied to earth. Nearly all Slytherins are water, the rest of Ravenclaws are air. Which leaves a small number of Gryffindors to be-"

"Fire," she finished in a hushed voice. "Fire. That's what I am. Fire."

Severus was openly smiling at her now. "Fire. The rarest element. Element of the South, of will power, creativity, passion and love. It is the element that nearly every wizard aspires to be aligned with, but only a select few are."

"Wow," JJ said, completely awed by this.

"Wow," Katie echoed. "That's kind of cool."

"I know right," JJ said, smiling at her friend.

"I think you'll both find that fire is in fact rather hot," interjected Severus.

* * *

><p>That night, JJ couldn't sleep. Not that she could ever sleep properly. Gently distangling herself from Severus, who was fast asleep and snoring softly, she slipped out of the bedroom door. Lighting the fire, even though she wasn't supposed be doing magic, she picked up Severus' shirt from where he had left it on his armchair and pulled it on over her faded ACDC t-shirt. It wasn't for warmth that she wore it - the fire was there for that - more for comfort. It was obviously far too big for her, and she liked that. For some reason she preferred wearing her clothes too big, and had done for as long as she could remember. The shirt smelled like him too, a mix of herbs and spices and copper that she would recognize anywhere.

She stared at the fire, thinking about the conversation from earlier that day. She was aligned to fire, the rarest element. Watching the flames now, she felt happy about that. She _liked _fire, in some utterly inexplainable way. She liked to sit and watch the flames as they danced around each other, licking at the logs in their centre. She could sit in front of a glowing hearth for hours, and find it peaceful, unlike most people's ideas of fire being violent and uncontrollable.

It was while she was sitting there that she heard Severus come padding out of the bedroom. He leaned against the doorframe, watching her quietly, dressed in just a pair of black tracksuit bottoms, his feet and chest bare. He crossed over to the couch, and she got up to sit beside him, resting her head on his chest, one of his arms around her. She felt him sigh.

"When was the last time that you slept properly?" he asked quietly. "Not counting using potions."

"Um, I'd say a few months ago," she answered. "I'm not sure."

"I thought as much."

They just sat there quietly for a while, JJ still loving the feeling of being in his arms. As clichéd as it sounded, he made her feel safe in a way that she hadn't really felt since her mother had died. She didn't feel as alone as she had done. Briefly, she wondered what her mum would say if she could see her now. She chuckled slightly at the thought.

"What's so funny?" Severus asked, his voice still soft.

"Just thinking, what would Mum say now? About us?"

"The same as any sane person would: That you are completely insane for being here with me," he replied, somewhat bitterly.

Pushing herself up to look at him, she gave him a serious look. "You don't think that now, do you?"

He sighed again. "I'm sorry J, I'm just not used to this. This is the first time I've been in any kind of proper relationship."

"Really?" JJ asked in a hushed voice, surprised by this.

"Yes. You're the first person to really want _me_, and I just find it... Difficult to comprehend sometimes."

"There was never anyone else?"

"There was someone, once. She... Did not feel the same way." He looked away into the fire. "But now..." he trailed off, before looking back at her. His eyes held a mixture of nervousness and insecurity that made her wonder who had caused him to become so afraid of trusting anyone like this. "I love you," he whispered.

JJ stared at him in utter shock. His words had caught her completely by surprise, she really hadn't been expecting him to say that. One part of her brain that didn't feel like it had just melted told her that this was in fact the first time that he had ever said anything concrete about his feelings. She realised that he was watching her. nervously anticipating her reaction.

She smiled shakily at him, fighting the sudden, unexplainable urge to start crying. "I love you too, you daft man," she whispered back.

His answering smile was different to any that she had ever seen before from him, completely carefree and jovial.

"Really?" he asked softly.

"Really."


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Hey guys, guess who's back? I finished my exams yesterday, so I'm back to writing now. This chapter is just a little bit fluffy, I apologise, but I couldn't resist. :D Oh, and I firgured out how to put in scene dividers. Better late than never. And we have cover art :D**

**xxxxxxx**

JJ woke first the next morning. She was still tired; it had been close to four in the morning by the time they had both eventually fallen asleep again. Smiling, she listened to the sound of Severus' quiet breathing as she thought about last night. She had been working up to telling him she loved him for a while now, but she certainly hadn't expected him to beat her to it. It was still not an ideal situation, being involved with her professor, but now that they were both sure of how the other felt, JJ reckoned that they would be able to overcome that particular issue.

Hearing Severus yawn, she rolled over to look at him. Leaning in, she kissed him gently, drawing back to see him blinking sleepliy at her, half smiling. He really was adorable when he was half asleep. "Morning," he mumbled, rubbing a hand over his eyes.

"Morning," she replied, smiling at him.

"What time is it?" he asked.

"Why, somewhere to be?" she teased.

"No. It's Saturday. I have no intentions of doing anything today," he told her, yawning. "Have you?"

"Seen as I still can't play my guitar, or play quidditch, or do any magic, no, I ain't doing anything," she told him, yawning herself now. "Actually, doing nothing's a good idea I reckon."

"Mmm," he agreed, closing his eyes again. JJ curled up beside him again, resting her head against his shoulder and deciding it might be an idea to go back to sleep.

* * *

><p>Later that day, they had eventually gotten up. JJ was sitting on the couch, close enough to dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a hoodie that bore the Gryffindor crest. The hoodie had been a present from her mother, specially made for her. Picking up a book - '<em>Advanced Defensive Magic' <em>- she sat back, listening to the sounds of Severus moving around in his bedroom. He seemed happy today, she could even here him humming faintly to himself. It sounded like 'Nothing Else Matters' by Metallica, but she couldn't be sure with the wall muffling the noise. Either way, it made her smile; as wonderful as his voice was, he was humming off-key. It surprised her a little that it was a Muggle song. She didn't know many wizards that were familiar with Muggle music that weren't Muggle-born, with the exception of herself.

Just then, Severus came out of the bedroom, and his appearance was a shock. Instead of his usual black robes, white shirt and slacks, he was dressed in a pair of worn black jeans and a dark blue jumper. Without his robes, he appeared thinner, and the soft fabric of the jumper hinted at the toned muscles of his chest that she knew it covered. The jeans suited him quite well; he appeared more comfortable in Muggle clothes than most wizards. She also noticed that his feet were bare, which he seemed to prefer.

He was leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, one eyebrow raised in question at her surprised stare. "What?" he asked.

"N-nothing," JJ stuttered, struggling to stop gaping at him. He looked good in those jeans.

Severus was smirking openly at her now. "I do own clothes that aren't black you know," he remarked dryly.

"So I see."

He came to sit beside her, and she noticed that the colour of his jumper brought out similar flecks in his dark eyes. She sighed contentedly, leaning against him as he wrapped an arm around her.

"It all just seems like it could be so simple sometimes," he murmered. His voice was a deep rumble where her ear rested against his chest.

"It will be. One day," she replied. "You wont be my professor forever."

"No, but we will be Master and Apprentice soon. It is a similar situation," he argued.

"You seem fairly sure I'll pass the assessment," JJ noted.

"You're not sure?" he asked.

"I don't know," she confessed quietly. "I'm scared I'll mess up something, y'know?"

"You wont," he said firmly. "I've never had a student as talented at Potions."

She turned to smile up at him, a little sadly. "Sure you ain't just saying that?"

Severus sounded torn between amusement and exasperation when he replied. "No, I'm not. Remember, your application was accepted by both myself and the Headmaster, and that was before we were involved."

"Yeah, I know, I'm just being an eejit. Sorry," she said, a little sheepishly.

"Gryffindor foolishness," he said softly, making her smile.

After that, they lapsed into a comfortable silence, both reading. After a while, JJ came across something interesting.

"Severus?"

"Yes?"

"What's your Patronus?"

He opened his mouth to answer, but stopped, frowning. "I'm not sure," he said in a careful voice.

"Not sure? Why?"

He sighed. "Do you remember last night, when I mentioned I once had feelings for someone that were not reciprocated?"  
>"Yeah," she answered slowly.<p>

"Well that was during the time I learnt to produce a Patronus," he explained.

"And you think that has something to do with its form?" she asked, not really following.

"I know it does," he sighed. "It took the same form as hers."

"What was it?"

"A doe," he answered, not looking at her. "But I haven't cast it in years. What's yours?" he asked her.

"Not telling you," she mumbled. "You'll laugh."

"It can't be that bad," he said, smiling a little.

"It is."

"I promise I wont laugh," he pleaded.

"Fine," she gave in. "It's a hedgehog."  
>Severus' expression slowly turned impassive, before he said in a level voice, "If I cast this charm and my Patronus has turned into a <em>hedgehog<em>, I will not hesitate to kill you."

JJ laughed. "Try and see then."

Severus drew his wand, pointing it at nothing specific, before saying the incantation. "_Expecto Patronum!"_

Silvery light filled the room, making JJ blink, before coming together to form the shape of Severus' Patronus. "Wow," she breathed.

"Wow indeed," remarked Severus quietly. Before them was a large shape, definately not a hedgehog. It stood on four legs and was covered in shaggy fur. It had a proud stance, and a noble air.

"Mac Tíre," JJ said quietly. "A wolf. Makes sense."

Severus was still looking rather shell-shocked. "How?" he asked in a hushed voice.

"Wolves are clever, and loyal. And reclusive, sometimes," she added, drawing a smile from him. He waved his wand, and the wolf dissapeared, leaving behind only a whisper of silver light.

"And hedgehogs?" he questioned teasingly, changing the subject.

She blushed. "Remus said they're brave, and embrace their uniqueness, or something like that," she mumbled, hiding her face against his chest. She could feel him shaking as he struggled to suppress his laughter. "You said you wouldn't laugh!" she protested.

"Sorry. I'm not laughing at _you_, just your Patronus, anyway."

JJ lifted her head and stared at him. "You are terrible at apologising."

"I know."


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Well this one took forever. Bit more plot here, as opposed to the happy fluff of the last chapter. Next time we'll have some Christmassy themed stuff. In July. Just because.**

**xxxxx**

November continued on, and JJ slowly healed. Her return to class meant that she spent less time with Severus, as they still had to be careful about being caught. By the first week in December, Madam Pomfrey gave her the all-clear to resume Quidditch training after Christmas, meaning she wasn't going to miss the game against Hufflepuff in Febuary. However, not even that news could lighten her mood as the tenth of December approached, the date that marked the ninth anniversary of her father's death.

Like with her mam's anniversary, JJ found it hard to concentrate in class. That was partly due to tiredness; every time she tried to sleep, she dreamt of her dad, kneeling in front of the Dark Lord, being tortured. It was a nightmare she was used to having, but it didn't make it any easier. She was grateful that as Head Girl she had her own room, so noone heard her talking, or sometimes crying, in her sleep.

Because of this obvious lack of concentration, along with her rather dark mood and the importance of the date being widely known among Order members, JJ wasn't surprised when Severus held her back after Potions. He stood in front of his desk, watching her, waiting for the class to file out. She sighed, sitting back on the workbench behind her at the front of the classroom, regarding him tiredly

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked finally in a soft voice.

She just shook her head, unable to answer for fear of starting crying. For some reason, people being nice to her when she felt sad, or showing sympathy was more likely to make her break down and sob than being faced with indifference. Also, she really would rather leave the entire subject alone.

"Okay. You know where I am if you change your mind," he told her.

JJ blinked at him, before smiling sadly. It was strange to think that she had once been among the many people who considered Professor Snape to be heartless and cold. It was strange how different her opinion of him was now. Shrugging her schoolbag off her shoulder, she went over and hugged him tightly. He made a slightly surprised noise and leaned back against the desk, half sitting on it. She could hear his heart beating under her ear. JJ wondered what she would do without him. Pushing back to look at him, she gave him a shaky smile. They were almost at the same eye level because of his position against the desk, his head was tilted to one side, regarding her with warm, unguarded eyes. He cupped her cheek in one of his large hands, and kissed her very softly.

"Professor!"  
>The exclamation interrupted the peace of the moment. JJ turned abruptly, just in time to see a familiar face turn and run. Casey.<br>"Great, just what I need," JJ muttered. Severus looked slightly shell-shocked. "She's going to head straight to McGonagall," she continued. "Dammit, I'd better go after her."

Severus just nodded, and as JJ left the room she saw him sit down at his desk and bury his head in his hands. She sprinted down the the corridor, listening out for the sound of footsteps on the stone floor. Most of the students were in class, the rest in their common rooms or the library, so it didn't take long to track Casey down, just at the point where the dungeon corridor reached the stairs to the Entrance Hall.  
>"Casey, wait," JJ called.<p>

The Hufflepuff spun around. "What do you want Carter? Going to try lie your way out again this time? Because you'll need to be able to, after what I just saw you at! Professor McGonagall isn't going to be happy!"  
>JJ gritted her teeth and focused very hard on not losing her temper - that wouldn't be a good idea. "Just... lets talk about it first. Please?"<br>"Fine," Casey muttered, and JJ ducked into a nearby empty classroom. Sitting back on a desk - mostly because the other girl was considerably taller - she cast a silencing spell.  
>"Right you've got questions, clearly," JJ sighed. "So go on."<p>

"What the hell _was _that?" Casey demanded. "You were kissing _Professor Snape_!"

"Yeah. I was," JJ muttered. "Thanks for stating the bloody obvious."

Casey glared at her. "Well, why?"

"Hmm, I don't know, maybe I just thought he looked good in those robes!" JJ snapped sarcastically, trying to keep her anger in check. She was just pissed off now. Of all the days for this to happen, it had to be today.

The retort earned her yet another glare. _If looks could kill... _"So what, are you shagging him?" Casey questioned.

"Yep," JJ answered coolly. "Problem?"

"You're a cocky little git, you know that Carter? I bet that's why you keep getting O's in Potions!"

JJ had to stop herself losing her temper. Again. "I've got good marks in Potions since we were first years, and you know it!" she snapped.

"Well what about this apprenticeship then? What's the deal with that?"  
>JJ sighed again. "I asked about doing a Mastery, I'm being assessed for it. End of."<p>

There was a long silence, before Casey asked in a hesitant, less hostile voice, "So, you and Snape?"

"Yeah," JJ agreed. "Me and Snape."

"How did _that_ happen?"  
>"No idea."<p>

"You had a crush on him in first year."  
>"I did not!"<p>

"You did too."

"Well, maybe I did. A little."  
>"You never shut up about Potions."<br>JJ smiled at the memory of her eleven-year-old self, who admittedly had harbored a slight infatuation with the Potions Master, which had lasted until he had been such a git to her class that he nearly made Charlie cry.  
>"Is there not rules against it though?" Casey asked.<br>"Not exactly. The rules said it was up to Dumbledore. He decided he isn't going to expell me," JJ explained.

"Dumbledore _knows_?"  
>"Yeah. But McGonagall doesn't. So if you go tell her, she'll skin us both alive."<p>

"Is that supposed to persuade me not to?" Casey asked, somewhat meanly.

JJ sighed. Gryffindor pride wouldn't let her actually start begging Casey not to tell Professor McGonagall. She could always just use Obliviate, but knowing her luck she'd mess it up. A thought occured to her. "What were you even doing down in the dungeons anyway?"

"I'd a letter to give Professor Snape. Which I should go and give him now." JJ couldn't tell if that meant that they were off the hook or not. Nodding, she watched Casey turn to leave. "Casey," she said hesitantly. "I love him. Just remember that, alright?"

Casey turned, her expression unreadable, and nodded, before leaving.

* * *

><p>JJ wasn't really that surprised when Severus slipped into her room that night. She hadn't gone back to the dungeons after her encounter with Casey, just in case the other girl had told McGonagall, because if her Head Of House had found out, she would have headed straight for the Potions classroom.<p>

It was after midnight, and JJ was reading, having finished her homework, which had mainly consisted of two rools of parchment on the effects of cauldron material on a potion. She only looked up long enough to smile at Severus as he came in and closed the door behind him. She could feel him watching her as he sat back on the bed.

"Are you alright?" he asked quietly.  
>"I'm fine," she reassured him.<br>"What are you reading?" he asked.  
>"<em>Sense and Sensibility<em>. I've a secret love of Jane Austen," she joked, setting it down and turning to him. "You're still alive I see. I reckon that means Casey didn't say anything."  
>"So it would seem," he agreed. "I doubt Minerva would have kept it to herself if she had been told."<p>

"That's good," JJ said, curling up against his side. "Y'know, Casey just reminded me today, I used to have a crush on you when I was a first-year."  
>Severus' expression was torn between surprise and amusement for a few seconds, before he started laughing. She poked him in the ribs. "Give over!"<br>"Sorry," he said, sobering up. "Really though?"  
>"Yeah," she said, trying to hide the fact she was blushing by hiding her face against his shoulder.<p>

He shifted to kiss her, before whispering in her ear, "You were never good at subtle. I'd noticed."

"Git," she muttered.  
>"Yes," he agreed, before he kissed her again and that put an end to all conversation.<p> 


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: This chapter took so damn long, but it's finally done now. I really, really wanted it finished either Tuesday or yesterday, but my Harry Potter Facebook page got hacked, so everything was put on hold for the day while we sorted it out. Anyway, here we have some Christmas shopping and favourite ship of mine :D Enjoy, and thanks to the reviewer who actually threatened me finish this fic  
>xxxxx<strong>

JJ was slightly surprised when she saw that Severus was still there the next morning. It hadn't occurred to her before, but Severus spending the night in her room was a lot more dangerous than the other way round. JJ had no roommates to explain her absence to, but the Head of Slytherin missing from his chambers in the middle of the night would be difficult for him to talk his way out of trouble.

Rolling over, she poked Severus in the ribs to wake him, and turned her attention to the noise that had woken her in the first place: an impatient tapping against the window. Looking over, she sighed, recognising the handsome, long-eared owl on the sil.  
>"What the hell, Baltimore?" she muttered, dragging herself out of bed to open the window. Behind her, she heard Severus groan and roll over onto his back. She untied the piece of parchment attached to the owl's leg and sat back down on bed to read it.<br>_J  
>Thought you'd probably need reminding that we're going to Hogsmeade today. Meet me in the Entrance Hall at 9, like we said. If you're late, I will hex you.<br>Katie._

JJ cast a Tempus charm, and saw that it was already twenty to nine. Cursing, she started to get dressed hastily, and promptly collided with the side of the bed and tumbled to the floor. The resounding crash was probably what caused a previously still-half-asleep Severus to leap out of bed with his wand drawn.

"It's okay, don't go all ninja," she joked from the floor, struggling to sit up.

"How did you get down there?" JJ could hear the suppressed laughter in his voice.

"I attacked the floor."

"Backwards?"

"Yep, I'm special like that."

"How someone as clumsy as you has such a talent for Potions I will never know," Severus muttered, helping her up. "Why are you rushing around anyway?"

"I'm supposed to be going to Hogsmeade with Katie at nine, and it's already nearly quarter to. She's dragging me _shopping,_ can you believe it? I hate shopping."

"And why is she making you shop?" Severus asked in an amused tone, reaching out to stop her falling again as she overbalanced trying to find her socks.  
>"For this bloody Yule Ball. Which apparently, being Head Girl, I'm supposed to go to. And I don't want to."<p>

"I had thought the Yule Ball was the highlight of every student's year," Severus commented.

Finally winning her fight with the sock, JJ turned to face him. "Severus, you know how clumsy I am, can you imagine me even trying to dance?"

He chuckled. "That is a fair point."

"Exactly. Now, I'm late and Katie was serious about that threat, so I'd better be off," she told him, pulling on boots and a warm jacket. "Try not to kill any students while I'm gone."  
>"I'll do my best."<p>

* * *

><p>An hour later saw a very cold and thoroughly bored JJ trudging through Hogsmeade as the first snow of the year chose to make its appearance. "Wonderful," she muttered.<p>

"It'll be warm in the shops, don't worry," said Katie cheerfully.

JJ glared at her. "I hate you."

"I love you too. Now come on."

The Hogsmeade branch of Madam Malkins was packed with students. All students in fifth year and above were permitted to attend the ball, and fourth years could go if they were invited by an older student. The sheer number of people in the small space meant that it was very noisy, and, as Katie had predicted, warm.

"Are you going for dress robes or just a dress?" Katie asked.  
>"What? Oh, I don't know yet. I could probably count on one hand the amount of times I've worn a dress that I can remember," JJ answered. "Katie, why are we even bothering? Your boyfriend's on the other side of the world, and mine's a professor. What's the point?" Suddenly, something occured to her. "Katie, you're not going all Yule Ball-crazy to impress <em>Adam<em>, are you?"

Katie blushed and JJ groaned. "You are. You like him don't you?"

"I do not!" Katie insisted, entirely unconvincingly.

"Do too."

"We're not having this conversation."

"Yes we are."  
>"Go away."<p>

"No."  
>"Fine," Katie sighed, ducking behind a railing of clothes. "Maybe I do, a little. But, it's just because... Well, Evan's in America, but Adam's <em>here<em>, y'know?"

"Mmm."

"But it's not like I'm going to do anything."  
>"Like I did, you mean?" JJ asked somewhat bitterly.<p>

"That was different," Katie replied instantly.

"Was it?" JJ sighed, rubbing her eyes absently. "Lets not talk about this now anyway, we've stuff to do."  
>"Right, yeah," Katie said, seeming happy at the change of subject. "What do you think of this dress?"<p>

* * *

><p>A while later they were walking through the door of the Three Broomsticks, shaking snow off their jackets and carrying a couple of shopping bags each. JJ had eventually given in and actually started acting seriously about getting a dress for the Ball. In the end, she had found one that was pretty much perfect, and they were discussing their purchases as they went up to the counter to order their drinks.<br>As they sat down at a table in the corner of the noisy pub with their Butterbeers, Charlie slid into the seat across from JJ. "Hey J," he said smiling.

"What's the craic Charlie?" she asked. Charlie, well used to her Irish sayings by now, smiled at her, a little sheepishly.  
>"You know the Yule Ball at the end of the month?" he asked.<br>"Yeah," she replied questioningly.  
>"Do you want to go with me? I mean, as friends of course. Not an actual date or anything. I just thought, you know after you and Owen -"<br>"No," JJ interrupted.  
>"No? Why?" He asked, his surprised expression making Katie smile beside her.<br>"See over there?" JJ asked, pointing to a table at the far wall where a group of Seventh Year Huffepuffs were talking and laughing.  
>"Yeah," Charlie said slowly, clearly not understanding what he was supposed to be looking at.<br>"That's where you're going to go now, and you're going to sit down, and you're going to ask Tonks to go to the Yule Ball with you. Understand? Good."  
>Charlie gaped at her. "Uh... What?"<br>"You like her, don't you?"  
>He flushed. "Um... Yeah."<p>

"Well go ask her then," JJ instructed, smiling as she watched her red-headed friend do as he was told. A minute later her smile widened as she heard Tonks squeal excitedly and throw her arms around Charlie's neck. "About bloody time," she muttered to Katie.  
>"Yeah," her friend agreed. "Except now, you haven't got a date for the Ball."<p>

JJ grinned, lowering her voice to a whisper. "Nope. But really now, how d'you think Severus would take it if I did?"

"Good point."

"Yep. Now come on, I want to get some chocolate for Remus before we end up snowed out of it."


End file.
